Guillotine
by MyLifeOnAPoster
Summary: When Lilith was younger, she helped a rat. Several years later, his sons return the favor. And while things get a little nuts, she has to admit. Its better than that job she got fired from. T for foul language and bad jokes. Updates when I remember. ;-;
1. Chapter 1

When a young woman gets fired from her job, she sees something shocking as she leaves, and after that, her life is turned upside-down-but is that better than it had been it already?

A/N: Sooooooo I reread this and confused the hell out of myself, so I decided to simply rewrite parts of it. It is mainly 2012 with the background from the 2003.

CHAPTER ONE

 _ **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!**_ A hand shot out, grabbed the alarm, and threw it out of the window on sheer reflex. "Fuck." she muttered as she heard glass shatter. "There goes another window _and_ another clock. And it's only three a.m." She sighed and stood, unsatisfied with the hour of sleep she managed in the last week. She changed her clothes and rushed to work, already knowing she was late.

~*Turtles' Lair*~

Raphael grunted as Donatello examined the large crack his shell for the seventh time that day. "Donnie, it's healing fine! It's been three days since those purple dragons caught us." Donatello rolled his eyes and Michelangelo cut in, "One, caught _you,_ and two, Raph, it doesn't hurt to be sure! How else are you gonna get the ladies if your shell is cracked? Your devilishly good looks?" Mike wiggled his brow suggestively at the last words.

Raphael snorted and rolled his eyes. "Look who's talkin', Mike. You're uglier than me!" Mikey crinkled his "nose". "That's sayin' a lot, Raph." Donnie looked over to Leonardo, who had remained silent with his eyes narrowed, thinking and staring at nothing. "What's wrong, Leo?" Raph asked, following Donnie's gaze. Mikey cocked his head. "Yeah, you have been quiet since thing's died down."

Leonardo jerked slightly, surprised. "What? Oh, my bad, guys. Just thinking." Donatello raised a "brow". "About what? How to get Mikey to shut up or me to stop experimenting or Raph to stop being an ass? If you were thinking as hard as you looked like you were, that must be it." Leo snorted and shook his head. "No, that's not it. But, ah..." He paused before continuing.

"It's been a while since Sensei told the story, so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but didn't he mention a human who took care of him before he found us?" His brothers were silent for a moment before Mikey piped up, "Let's just ask Dad! He doesn't generally avoid direct questions!"

"Ask me what, Michelangelo?" Splinter appeared, causing his surrogate sons to jump slightly. They exchanged a glance before nodding and turning to the rat. "Leo was thinking a minute ago." Raphael started. Donnie put in, "And he made a suggestion that made us all slightly curious." Splinter beckoned for them to continue. Leo stated, "Well, I'm not sure if im remembering right, but in the story, you said you were taken care of by a human before you found us, right?"

Splinter's eyes twinkled slightly, but he did not interrupt. "Well, what wound up happening to them? Do you know?" Leo finished. Splinter didn't speak for a moment. "And here I thought you had overlooked that small detail. Yes, I did mention a human. A young girl, in fact, four or five at the time, and very mature for her age. Her mother wasn't the nicest woman in the world."

The turtles gazes were fixed on their teacher and surrogate father. They suddenly lauched questions at him.

"What happened?"

"Who is she?"

" _Where_ is she?"

"Was she hot?" At everyone's glare, Mikey changed his question to, "Is she safe?"

"Have we seen her?"

"Would she remember you?"

"Does she know we exist?"

"Did she ever meet us?"

The barrage of questions paused and everyone turned to Mikey. "What?" The orange-clad turtle muttered. Leonardo said, "That was an unepected question." Mikey frowned. "Well, she was like five, right? And she wouldn't want to know what happened to her pet? (No offense, Sensei.) Kinda weird..." Splinter gave a small smile. "That is probably the most important question. I doubt you would have seen her, as the last time I saw her was the time she died."

"What?! This story has a sad ending?! Nooo!" Mikey whined. Splinter sighed before continuing his tale.

 _The first time I met her, she was four. I don't know her name, but she was kind and gentle. When she found me, my leg had been bitten by a dog. I was lucky to be alive, but I was badly injured. She found me as I scavenged for food in an alley. She captured me and took me home, and at first I feared for my life. However, she requested permission from her father to take care of me until a healed. He agreed, after some persuasion, to allow me into their home, on the condition her mother not find out._

 _A month later, her mother_ did _find out. The girl was just moving to hide me away when her mother walked in. She saw me, screamed, and yelled at her daughter to get away from me. The girl tried to convince her mother that I was perfectly safe, but the woman snatched me up by my tail and moved to throw me out of the window. The next thing I knew, the girl had struck her mother and snatched me away, saving my life a second time._

 _The woman told her daughter to leave, and to take me with her, and that if she returned to the house, ever, that she would kill her. I was stunned. Would this human really abandon her child? She would. The girl left, me in her arms, and refused to turn back. I wondered where her father was, as he seemed the reasonable one, but he wasn't there at the moment._

 _She returned me to the place she found me, deeming me fit enough to survive. Then we parted ways. It was a day later that I found you four and was mutated. I was poorly equipped to raise you all on my own, yet I managed._

 _It was a year later that I crossed paths again with the girl for the last time. She was being chased by the Purple Dragons, who, back then, were merely a few drug dealers and hipsters. She ran into the alley I was foraging in. I had hidden, but then I recognized her. I grabbed her, covering her mouth, and hid with her until the Purple Dragons had gone._

 _She turned around as I released her and I tensed, ready to flee the moment she began to scream. However, she somehow recognized me. "It's you!" she said excitedly. We spoke for some time and she told me that her parents had separated and that her mother was to take care of her on weekends. However, the vile woman had made yet another attempt on the girl's life, and now she was on the run from the one who was to protect her. At merely five years old, her mother had tried to kill her four times that she could remember._

 _I brought her to our home, the first and only human to ever set foot there after I claimed it as our place. She met you four and was simply delighted. She believed that you were all, as she put it, "So flipping adorable!" She thought it was_ especially _cute the way Raphael was always getting angry._

The aforementioned hothead scowled as his three brothers laughed. "Yeah, yeah, oh so humahrous. Sensei, ya said this was thah las' time ya saw her?" Splinter bowed his head. "Yes. I'm afraid so."

 _She stayed with us for two days, keeping an eye on you when I went to search for food, and supplying you with treats from her bag on occasion. But on the third day, we heard someone near our home. She went to investigate and came back with a horrified expression. "Purple Dragons are down here!" She told me. "And they're looking for me!"_

 _I told her to hide, but young as she was, she had the heart of a warrior. She refused to endanger us. "Stay here and protect_ them _." she said. "They're yours to protect, but not me. I'll lead those guys away and try to come back later." Foolishly, I agreed._

 _I should have made her stay. She ran away and the Purple Dragons followed. "It's the girl!" they yelled. "The one with the big reward on her!" They followed her, and I followed them. I lost sight of them for a moment, but that was all it took. I heard a bang and saw a flash. Then, when I rounded the corner, she was dead and the Dragons were turning on the man who had shot her._

 _"Ugh. Whatever." The leader knocked the man with the gun out cold. "We'll just tell the cops that we found this guy standin' over her with the gun." I would have taken them all down, but then I realized that I was outnumbered, badly, and I was forced to watch as they took her away._

"And the rest, you know." Splinter finished, a sad look on his face. Mikey was the first to break the silence, an upset expression on his face. "So wait, they _killed_ her!?" Splinter nodded. "Sometimes I wonder if she could have survived. Could I have prevented her leaving? She was stubborn, so I doubt it. Could I have kept pace with her and prevented the man from shooting? Perhaps, but what if I'd been killed in the process and you four were left alone?"

Splinter shook his head. "I don't know if there was anything I could have done without losing my own life, as cowardly as it sounds." Raphael frowned. "And if you had died, we probably would have, too. Whether she survived or not." Splinter nodded. "It is more than a possibility." Raph looked at Donnie, who did a few calculations in his head, then shrugged. "I got nothing. Either way, if Splinter had died, even if the girl survived, which is doubtful, there's a very high probability that we wouldn't have. And if we had, not all of us might have made it."

There was silence as the turtles considered life without all four of them, five counting Splinter. They didn't like where their thoughts went. "I wouldn't call her death a necessity, but if she hadn't led the Purple Dragons away and I hadn't remained hidden, you four would probably not be here. I'm not going to say it wouldn't have been better for her to live, but I cannot think of a way she could have."

Leo chewed over Splinter's words before nodding. "It makes sense, though I would have liked to meet the one who saved you twice. By extension, we owe her our lives as well." Splinter chuckled. "I suppose you do." Mikey yawned and stretched. "Is it bed time?" he asked. Raphael swatted him upside the head. Splinter laughed, then nodded.

"Yes, it is. You've had your story for the day. Head off to bed. Training starts early tomorrow!" The turtles groaned in protest before heading to their respective rooms, each of them thinking different things.

 _Could she have survived without Splinter dying? Would I have done something differently in her place? Well, I'm a ninja now, so I suppose I would..._ strategized Leonardo.

Donnie thought, _Hmm, she seemed smart, despite her age, even if she did kick the bucket in the end. Oh, shit, did I leave my bunsen burner on?!_

 _She seems brave._ Raph pondered. _And tough. And I was her favorite._ He laughed inwardly. _Ha. I sound like Mikey's dumb ass._

 _I wonder if that chick was hot?_ wondered, who else, Michelangelo. _Oh hey! I still have that Fantastic Fourteen comic to finish!_ He paused. _I wonder if that girl looked anything like Miss Fantasy? Now_ she's _hot!_

...I apologize for nothing. Nothing I say. Except for not creating TMNT originally. But that's why fanfiction sites exist. so yeah. peace.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

"Ugh. Stupid boss. Stupid job. Stupid fucking life in general." A young woman, the one who'd been responsible for an old man recieving a concussion via alarm clock, stormed from the place she'd been employed until several seconds ago. "You're late twice in a year and your boss thinks you're a fucking liabilty." she snarled. "That's great!" She took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay, okay, okay... Calm down."

She took a short walk to a nearby park. It was abandoned. _Of course it is._ she murmured silently. _It's four in the morning._ She groaned and sat down on a park bench. Without realizing it, she fell asleep.

When she opened her eyes, there was a face directly in front of hers, a knife in hand, and it was pitch black. _Did I sleep through the whole day?!_ she wondered. She flung herself backwards, tipping the bench. She rolled into a crouch before springing to her feet, staring in shock. "What the fuck?!" she shouted as the guy stepped over the bench. A faint light from a dying street lamp allowed her to see that he didn't just have a knife in his hand. He was wearing a gauntlet _made_ of knives.

"What the hell? Who the fuck are you? Get out of my face, dickhead!" She heard a soft chuckle. "It will take more than that to persuade me to leave you alone." The girl's eyes narrowed, tempted to do something rash, before she whipped around and fled. "Too bad." she heard the man in metal armor sigh. "I was in a killing mood." _He's insane!_ The woman thought as she sprinted.

She didn't hear him pursuing her, but she ducked through alleyways and dodged along side paths. When she couldn't run anymore, she stopped, trying to get her bearings as she wondered where the hell she was. _You're in an alley._

 _No shit. But where?_

 _In New York._

 _I hate you._

She silenced the voice in her head and turned, only to find about eight men, ninja cosplayers, judging from their outfits, standing in front of her. "Shit." she muttered. _These guys may be cosplayers, but they're not dressed as random ninjas._ She backed up, only to find a dead-end with no other exits around. The men, who were no more Foot Clan than the woman in front of them was a baseball bat, examined their prey.

She wore a black jacket and jeans, along with a pair of black Nike's. The Foot Clan imposters, however, only had eyes for the purse she had hanging at her waist with the strap on the opposite shoulder. She followed their gaze and sighed. "Yup. I'm getting mugged." _How can this get any worse?_ "Okay, guys, we all know what's going to happen, so let's get to ther point. You demand my purse, I say no, you take it by force. Sound about right?"

The muggers exchanged a glance before nodding. "All right, just checking. Can we just skip to the last part? I've had a really long day." The muggers looked surprised, but shrugged and attacked. On the roof above, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello watched. "Can we jump in _now?_ " Raph demanded. "She's gonna get hurt or killed! Come _on,_ Fearless!"

Leo held up a hand. "One minute. She purposely forced them to attack, so that means she's not stalling them to wait for help. Either she has a plan, or she just doesn't care." Mikey was too busy making goo-goo eyes at a pretty girl to notice Leonardo standing behind him. "Are you just going to stare at her ass all night?" Leo asked. Mikey jumped. "Yes. No. Maybe?"

The muggers attacked. The girl waited a heartbeat, then charged straight for them. Though surprised the muggers kept running, only to skid to a halt as the girl jumped to the side, onto a nearby trashcan, before jumping again to push off the wall and grab onto the fire escape. She tried to pull herself up quickly, but the fake Foot Ninja were more skilled than she had thought.

More like not as stupid.

One grabbed her leg, jerking her down to the ground. She fell on her back and lay there, winded. Leo sighed, "Oh, so close. Now we can attack." He looked up to find all three of his brothers on their way down, attacking the foot clan members just as they started beating on the young woman. He sighed. "No one listens to me..." He darted down. Suddenly, though, one of the eight men vanished.

The muggers paused. "Yo, where'd Johnny go?" asked one. Another man disappeared. "Hey, Carl's gone too!" The remaining six, scraping enough brains between them to huddle back to back, stared into the shadows apprehensively. "What the bloody hell is that?!" The muggers turned to see what their comrade was talking about and saw a pair of glowing white orbs.

Two more appeared, then two more. "What the hell?" asked a mugger before something grabbed him from behind. The five remaining muggers turned and the white orbs flew from the shadows, revealing themselves to be large, humanoid turtles wielding weapons. The woman, forgotten in the panic, pushed herself to her feet, clutching her ribs. These guys couldn't have come earlier?

She watched as one of the turtle-people, wearing an orange mask, smacked a mugger over the back of the head with his nunchucks, while another with a purple mask disabled with a staff. A red-clad turtle used a pair of sai, while the last used a pair of katanas. She watched them knock the muggers out with ease. "Agh, more pretenders." groaned the turtle in the red mask.

"Hey, at least that made it easy." replied the one in purple.

"Yeah, but it's so lame to have to take care of." complained the mutant in orange.

"Guys, we have to see if that girl-" the one in blue never finished, a click interrupting him. A mugger appeared behind the turtle in orange, a gun in hand. Before the blue-clad turtle could make a sound or a move, there was a loud _clong!_ as a trash can lid was bashed over the gun-wielding mugger's head. The turtles turned as the unconscious body hit the ground to see the girl staring in disdain at the Foot imposter on the road.

"Asshole." she muttered before she stumbled and fell. Raphael, who was closest, caught her before she hit the ground. "She's got head injuries," he reported, "And I think a couple a broken ribs. We should get her help." Mikey blinked. "How do you know?"

"Cause I've _had_ some before, stupid."

"But-"

Leo frowned and interrupted, "But do we take her to a doctor or back to the lair?" Donnie thought for a moment.

"The lair is closer than the nearest hospital, and we live in a world where the pizza gets to your house before the cops." Raphael cut in. Everyone stared at him. "You want to take her home with us?" Leo demanded, surprised that the hot-head would want anyone except April "invading" their home. "Eh, I have a policy that still stands. If all else fails, we'll just have to kill her."

"Raph!"

"Come on, dude!"

"We haven't even talked to her!"

"How are you going to pull that already?"

"We're not killing her, Raph."

"Come on, Raph."

Raph rolled his eyes at the chorus of complaints. "Did you not hear the 'if all else fails' part?" The other three paused. "Exactly." Raph stated, picking the girl up. "Now let's get back before Master Splinter has our shells on a silver platter."

After being chewed out by Splinter for A) Being out so late and B) Bringing someone to the lair, yet being praised for saving the girl, the turtles had gotten her settled and were now relaxing themselves. Mikey let out a loud belch, but Donnie let out an even louder one. Leo beat them both, but Raph topped them all off. "Show off..." Mikey muttered.

A belch that shattered every record the turtles had made rang out, a straight ten seconds and with a volume louder than the maxed out TV, and they looked around. The girl was still unconscious, but that only left... "...Master... Splinter...?" Leo prodded. Splinter looked fairly self-satisfied. "Oh, was I not allowed into your game?" Having their suspitions confirmed, the teenagers exchanged a glance before they all burst into laughter, Mikey falling off the couch and Donnie falling into the table.

Raphael leaned against a pillar, holding his gut, while Leo put a hand on his shoulder and held his own stomach. No one noticed the black-haired girl standing in a doorway, smiling at the sight of the turtles cracking up. No one besides Splinter, that is. He examined her appearance. She had shortish black hair with a red streak on one side. Her eyes were a vivid, yet soft green. Splinter could see that her skin was pale, though not so pale that it seemed stark white. She had a thin, yet slightly tall build. She had to have been about five foot eight, maybe.

"Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael." Splinter called. "You forget we have company." The girl's visible eyes widened. The turtles turned around, then shifted slightly, uncomfortable with her staring. They all avoided her gaze before she repeated their names. "Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael?" The mutants looked up to see her smiling. "Those are your names?"

Splinter walked towards his sons, whacking them on the backs of their heads. "Yes, those are their names." Her smile widened. "And you're mutant turtles." Raph muttered, "It's not funny. Stop grinnin' like a fool." The girl still grinned. "I wasn't implying that it was funny. It just reminded me of-Oh. _Oh._ " She looked at the turtles' surrogate father. "Splinter?" she asked.

The rat looked surprised, and then he smiled. "I should have known it was you. I have missed you, my young friend." Leo complained, "Why is it that hardly anyone winds up caring that we are mutant turtles and a mutant rat?! Not that I'm complaining." ((A/N: me: ...wtf leo)) The girl rushed over and hugged the rat. "I knew you'd take care of them, Splinter!" the girl said, grinning widely. She pulled away and turned to the turtles. "Wow. You guys got bigger than I thought you would!"

Donnie, Raph, and Leo stared stupidly. "And who are-?" Mikey interrupted Donnie's sentence to state, "Dude, it's obvious! This chick has to be the girl who got chased down by the Purple Dragons!" Leo protested, "But there was no way she could have lived! She got shot!" The girl grinned. "Actually, there was." Splinter approached. "Not that I am unhappy you live, but how did you survive? I watched you fall!"

She frowned. "Yeah. I did. And I totally thought I was going to die. But when I woke up, I was in the hospital. They told me that the bullet had very narrowly missed not only my heart, but also my ribs. By like... an inch. When I woke up, they'd told me that my mom had fallen down a flight of stairs while I'd been gone and died, so I lived with my dad for a while."

She shrugged. "My dad died two months ago. Now I'm living in an empty house. I probably won't be able to keep it, since I just got fired. Not only that, but some freakazoid in a fucking helmet decided to go all demon Wolverine on me." The turtles and Splinter were immediately tense. "The Shredder." Leo growled.

"That guy just won't stay down, will he?" Raphael asked. "Who won't stay down? Raph, you and Casey didn't fight again, did you?" a voice asked before April O'Neil walked in. "Who's this?" she beckoned to the girl. "My name is Lilith Thompson." the black-haired girl said. April blinked. "Nice to meet you. How'd you find the lair? These guys are pretty discreet when it comes to their place."

"I'm just that fucking badass."

"She was hurt in a fight." Raph said.

"Oh, pshh. I could have handled those guys."

Raphael rolled his eyes. "We helped her. She's an old pal a Masta Splinta's." Splinter nodded. "She saved my life more than once. And, might I add, the lives of my sons." Lilith shrugged. "Ah, come on. I didn't do much. I was four or five. I didn't think back then. I was fucking stupid as hell." Splinter winced slightly. "Could you please refrain from using such vulgar language in our home, Lilith?"

Lilith thought for a moment. "I'll try. No promises. Actually... No. It's physically impossible. I tried once." The four mutant turtles and April gaped at the blunt answer to the rat that they respected so much. Splinter, however, merely laughed. "Stubborn as ever, I see."

Lilith bowed. "Thank you very much." she said, snickering, then winced, touching the stitch in her head. "What the hell?" Donnie explained, "Those phony Foot ninjas meant business." Lilith nodded. "That explains why everything hurts." April paused. "Phony Foot? What do you mean?" The turtles explained.

"Damn." April muttered. "I miss out on everything, don't I?" Lilith shrugged. "Nothing important." April shrugged. "So what now? If Shredder is targeting random people out of boredom, and people are disguising themselves as Foot Ninja, what will we do? How will we find the real ones?" Lilith spoke up. "You do the same thing the turtles have been doing. You kick ass and take names when its time to do so."

Donnie sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that shit-er, something is going to hit the fan really soon?"


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N: okay, so this is gonna skip forward about a year so that the 2007 movie plot can hop in as well as some other things. however, all ages remian the same for the hell of it. (oh, and lilith is 19))

Raph glared at the incoming Krang. Their pink and blue robot bodies agitated him, let alone their terrible grammar. As the hothead glanced over, he noticed Leonardo on the ground, surrounded by Kraang. "Yo, Mikey." Michelangelo looked up. "What's up, Raph?" Raph smirked. "I think it's time we used our 'secret weapon' that we were saving." Mikey pouted. "But that was meant for Leo!" Raph raised an eyebrow.

"Would ya rather pull it on Leo's dead body, or on a bunch of _these_ assholes?" Mikey's determined look gave him his answer. The orange-banded turtle handed one of the handles of one of his nunchucks to Raph. The two sprinted forward, clotheslining the Krang surrounding their brother and knocking them all down. Leo, now able to rise, did so and high-three'd his brothers. "Thanks. I though I was a goner for a minute."

It had started out as a normal patrol. Then, Donnie had picked up some Krang activity with mutagen. It had all been downhill from there, as now they were stuck in an abandoned warehouse with the only exit open being a skylight about sixty feet above their heads and nothing to climb up in order to get to it. Speaking of Donnie...

"Raph! Leo! Somebody! A little help?!" Donnie was surrounded by Krang. One snatched his staff and thwacked him over the head with it before pointing its laser. "Donnie!" Mike, Raph, and Leo yelled, running forward. They knocked down the Krang swiftly, but got separated in the process. Correction: _Raph_ got separated in the process. "Shit." he muttered.

He swiped at the Krang, but when one blocked his sai, the blade was knocked from his hand while the other was shot from his other hand. "Whelp, I'm outta ideas."

"Well, then, it's a good thing you've got friends then, isn't it, Raphie Boy?" the call came from above and every Krang and turtle looked up to see a thin, feminine figure outlined against the skylight. "Is that April?" Donnie asked. Leo shrugged. "If it is, she's welcome backup, even if she did risk her life by calling Raph 'Raphie Boy'. Either way, backup is welcome."

Everyone froze when said figure jumped sixty feet with nothing to grab. The Krang gaped at the stupidity, while the turtles gaped at the fact that whoever it was was about to become a paint splatter on the floor. Suddenly, she pulled something from her belt and shot it at the skylight. "Did she seriously use the grappling hook cliche?!" Donnie demanded, horrified.

It was, of course, the grappling hook cliche. The figure swung in a giant circle (slapping Donnie on her way past him) before jumping off and crashing into a Krang in front of Raph and landing in a crouch. "It's not a cliche! It's a classic!" she snapped, rising. She was wearing a black jacket, black pants, black sneakers, and a black, plastic mask over her face. Her hair was long and black.

"Need some help, Raphie Boy?" she asked, pulling a pair of sai from her belt and offering them to the hot-headed turtle. Raph frowned, then took them. "Once you grab yours, I want those back." stated the girl, green eyes shining beneath the mask. Raph grinned. The Krang, having worn off from their initial surprise, darted forward. The girl drew a pair of sharp daggers and lunged forward.

Raph stabbed one that had been sneaking up behind her. "So who are you?" The girl's mask moved and Raph presumed that she was smirking. "Like you don't know." She ducked swiftly as a Krang shot at her, but said shot clipped her mask, sending it flying off. "Whoops, guess my secret's out!" she joked, grinning at Raph. "Hey, you were right. I do know." Raph joked.

Lilith grinned. "You know it." She threw one of her daggers at him, but it missed and buried itself into the chest of the Krang behind him. Raph's eye twitched. "Since when have you been able to fight?" Lilith smirked. "Since I could walk." She retrieved her dagger just as Mikey landed next to her, having been thrown by a Krang. Lilith helped him up. "Lily!" exclaimed Mikey.

Lilith grinned and helped him up. "Be careful Mike. I might start to think you guys actually remember me!" Leo and Donnie lept next to them. "Lilith! What are you doing here?" demanded Leo, while Donnie just grinned and patted her on the back. Lilith frowned. "What, Leo? Not happy to see me?" She grunted as she threw a Krang over her shoulder and into another.

"Not particularly." Leo grumbled. "We have't seen you in a year and suddenly you appear when we're trapped? Kinda suspicious." Lilith rolled her eyes. "Who do you think I am, the enemy? I saw the flashing lights and came to investigate. I saw you guys and figured I'd wait and see if you'd had it handled. You didn't, so I jumped in." she explained, stabbing a Krang that (tried to) sneak up behind her.

Leo grunted. "Still. It seems kind of ironic to me." Raph rolled his eyes, punching a Krang in the face. "Shell, Leo, she's tryin' ta help. _You_ were gone for _three_ years. Chill out, will ya? She's not Karai!" Everything froze for a moment. "I know that, Raph! You don't need to remind me! I just want to be careful! We met her _once,_ didn't see her for a year, and then she just _shows up_ when we need her?" Raph resisted the urge to state that Leo had done the exact same thing a couple of months ago.

"Okay, Leo. You got me." Lilith said, shrugging. "I'm a secret agent for Bishop, come to take you away for experimentation." She stabbed a Krang. "Not likely. I got a call. Besides, didn't you just say that 'either way, backup is welcome'?" Leo paused, slicing the head off of a Krang thoughtfully. "A call? From who?" he asked, confused. Raph sheepishly raised a hand. "I couldn't get ahold of Case and April earlier, so I called Lilith to see if she'd try to get them for us."

Lilith nodded. "And I was driving by the warehouse on my way back into town when he called, saw the flashing lights, so investigated and I decided I'd wait to attack until I could see how bad you were getting your asses kicked, if you _were_ getting them kicked. Casey got drunk off his ass earlier tonight and thrown in jail because he was mistaken for someone else. April's trying to get him out." she explained.

Raphael laughed. "Ha! Case, you dumbass." Leo cleared his throat. "Okay, now that we're all clear on this, how the shell are we getting out? Now there's _five_ of us trapped." Lilith grinned ferociously. "Like this!" she threw down a smoke bomb, and when the smoke cleared, the five were gone and there was a hole in the metal wall, green acid dripping from the edges.

Now on top of the roof, Mikey laughed. "How the shell'd you get us out of there? The only door was over a hundred feet away!" Donnie pointed out, "A hundred thirty-seven, to be precise." Lilith grinned and produced a light green ball that looked exactly like a smoke bomb, not counting the fact that it was green. "I made a new door. It's acid. I've used it a couple of times to get out of a tight spot."

Donnie examined it. "Fascinating! How to you make it so that you can touch it?" Lilith grinned. "The ball I used I made myself. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I saw some acid dripping out of a car in my dad's repair shop last year. The car'd been sabotaged, but when it hit the ground, it burned throught the floor, not the tool on the floor. I melted said tool down and made these."

Donnie nodded. "Nice." Leo frowned. "But what about the Krang's shipment? They're going to put that mutagen in the water supply! You think they'd have thought that we might have crashed their party, though. I mean, honestly, what bad guy tries the same plan twice?" Lilith smirked. "Don't worry. They didn't have that much. Their shipment is in my truck. Now come on, let's blow this joint." Raph's eyes were wide. "Please tell me you mean literally."

Lilith grinned and pulled out a dead man's switch. "Do you want it to?" Raph and Mikey nodded enthusiastically. Lilith laughed, pressed the button, then let go. "Lilith, we're still on the building!" Leo shouted, bracing himself to run. Lilith grabbed his arm. "Relax, Leo! It's fake. It's a toy I picked up for my friend's son. He likes buttons." Leo sighed, relieved and slightly embarrassed.

"Jesus, Leo, you're going to give yourself an anneurism." Lilith teased, though concern showed. Leo jerked his arm away from her touch. Lilith facepalmed. "Come on, Leo. You act like my very skin is poison." She removed her gloves. "Perfectly normal, see?" She wiggled her shrugged, turning away. "Let's get home." Lilith grinned. "Here, I'll give you a ride."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Why? We have a perfectly good vehicle over the...re..." He trailed off, gaping at where the Battle Shell had been not long before. "Where's our fucking ride?!" Lilith facepalmed and Raph stated, "Er-Fearless? We _walked_ here. Do you not remember Mikey complainin' the whole time?" Leo paused. "Oh. Right. My bad, I forgot that we're not in the city at the moment."

Lilith resisted the urge to snicker. "So do you want a ride, or are we going to stand here until the Krang realize that their shipment is gone and in my truck?" Raph snickered. "What'll it be, Fearless?" he asked gleefully, ecstatic about how flustered Leonardo was getting. Leo rolled his eyes. "Come on, then." he muttered. He then paused and realized that he was the only one on the roof. He groaned. "Fuck my life."

As soon as he was in the truck, the building exploded. Lilith leaned out the window with wide eyes. She glanced at the button in her hand. "Oh, _shit!_ " She said. "Um... so that may or may not have been the real switch..."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Lilith put her foot on the brake as she finally entered the Turtles' garage, almost giving Raph an anneurism when she pretended that she was going to hit his bike. She slammed her foot down, sending Mikey's face smashing into the window. Donnie and Raph, who had braced themselves, laughed as Leo fell over, smacking his face on the plastic headrest of Lilith's seat.

Lilith smirked, then turned worriedly when Leo didn't get up. "Leo?" she asked, standing and walking over to his face-down form. "Leo, you okay?" she knelt next to him and he groaned. She lifted his head a bit and blinked when she saw the proverbial stars in his eyes. She gently slapped his face. "Leo, snap out of it. I'm pretty sure I didn't brake that hard."

Leo blinked and shook his head. Lilith let go and rocked back on her haunches, satisfied. "Good, you're not dead." Leo shook his head again, blinking. "Momma?" Lilith sighed. Raph and Donnie exchanged a glance, while Mikey, who had recovered, just stared, grinning. Without warning, Lilith pulled her hand and made a slapping motion, narrowly missing Leo's nose.

Said turtle stared for a split second before rearing back in surprise. "Damn." Raph muttered. "I thought she was actually gonna hit 'im." Leo blinked a few times. "I'm good!" he called. Lilith nodded. "Good. I thought I was going to have to drag you in there." She grinned good-naturedly, but Leo scowled. "Whatever." he muttered, standing and getting out of the truck. Lilith shrugged.

Donnie and Mikey got out, followed by Raph (who had claimed the front seat, much to Leo's displeasure) and Lilith. "What's his problem, Raph? He was happy enough to see me when we met. And if I hadn't been in Alaska when that whole stone general incident happened, I bet he'd have been happy to see me then, too." Raph shrugged. "We had a friend, Karai, who betrayed us. Now Leo thinks everyone 'cept April and Case is out ta get us."

Lilith nodded. "Ah. I see. And Leo had feelings for Karai, I take it?" Raph nodded, slightly taken aback. Lilith frowned. "I see. It's take a lot to break someone's trust of others completely." Raphael paused, then asked, "You know that from experience?" Lilith glance at him. "Raph, I'm nineteen. Of course I know this from experience." Raph held up his hands in surrender.

"Oh, hey, do you like my new big-ass Ford F-150? I also got a job I don't fuckin' hate, and I got to keep my dad's place!" Raph grinned. "Nice." Lilith nodded, smirking.

Leo called, "When you guys are done crying over your truck, will you come on?" Lilith shrugged, grinning. "Come on, we don't want to make him wait."

They walked at the slowest speed they could to get to the turtle's living room.

April, Casey, and Splinter were waiting with Donnie, Mikey, and Leo. Leo cast them a withering glare when they arrrived. "You sure took your time." Raph shrugged. "Well, the garage is kinda messy, and we didn't wanna trip. Don't ya always say betta safe than sorry?" Leo began to form a retort, but just then Splinter stated, "Now is not the time for argument, Leonardo." He added to the rest of the group, "There has been increased Foot activity, especially in the downtown area."

"What else is new?" Casey asked. April slapped him. "Shut it, I just bailed your ass out of jail. I'm mad at you." Casey fell over with the weight of the blow. "Ow." he mumbled. "Whyyyyy?"

"Because you're an asshat, Jones." Lilith replied. "An asshat." Casey looked up and grinned. "Oh, hey, Lilith. Long time no see." Lilith snickered. "It might have been because you were busy playing bad boy. How was the slammer?"

"Now that's just mean." Casey whined. Lilith raised an eyebrow. "That's what happened, isn't it Jones?" Casey moaned and stood up. "Why do you insist on calling me that?" Lilith smirked. "Because you're an asshat." Casey smirked devilishly. "I must be the sexiest asshat ever if you refuse to admit your feelings by calling me by my first name."

Lilith's eye twitched. "Ew. You just upgraded yourself from asshat to dumbass." Casey wiggled his eyebrows. "So, what I'm hearing is, you enjoy referencing my ass? Awesome." Lilith ran to the garbage and retched. "My bad." she said when she was done. "Jones, you have been promoted to Douchebag." Casey opened his mouth. "So you clean-"

April grabbed his head and threw him into the tire swing on the other side of the lair. "Don't even go there." she muttered, shivering. Lilith ran back to the trashcan. Raph winced. "That's nasty as fuck." he muttered. Leo snorted. "What, the puke or the fact the image of Casey being an actual douchebag into our heads?" Raph joined Lilith at the trash can.

"I'll take that as both." Leo muttered. "Which is surprising. I thought Raph had a stronger stomach than that." Then the image of Casey as one of _those things_ popped into his head and he was right next to Lilith and Raph. Splinter looked confused. "What is a-Oh." he realized. " _Oh._ I suppose _that's_ what they call them these days." The rat looked fairly pale and Donnie put a bucket next to him, just in case.

Mikey frowned. "What's a douchebag?" All puking stopped, April's beating of Casey stopped, and Splinter paused in his reaching for the bucket. Everyone turned. The three at the trash can twisted around, April looked up from where she had ahold of Casey's shirt, Casey lifted his head from where it had been lolling to the side, Splinter blinked and he looked over at his youngest son, and Donnie just stared.

"You seriously don't-?" Raph cut off Lilith's question by slapping his hand over her mouth. Lilith, understanding what had just happened, stated, "All in favor of letting Mikey keep his innocence by pretending that this never happened say I."

"I."

"I."

"I."

"I."

"I."

"I."

"I!" Mikey pouted. "But I wanna know!" Raph blinked. "Know what, Mike?" Mikey scowled and surrendered. Lilith wiped her mouth. "Now, where were we?" Splinter frowned. "You and Casey were in the middle of a heated argument." Lilith winced. "What was going on before that? I feel sick enough without going back to _that_ hell." Raph put in, "We was talkin' about Foot ninja bein' asses. right?"

"Close, Raph. We were talking about increased Foot activity downtown when April slapped Casey onto the floor." Donnie put in. Lilith's eyes lit up. "Can we go back to that point?" April and Casey, back in the "circle," exchanged a glance before April slapped him. Splinter coughed. " _Anyway_ , I have decided that it is safest if you stay below ground until Foot activity decreases again."

"What?!" Raph demanded.

"That's not fair!" Mikey whined.

"We should be kicking ass, not loitering around down here!" Lilith put in, bristling. Leo glared at her. "Why does it matter to you? You're not getting 'under-grounded'." he snapped, using a word that Mikey had made up, using the fact that they lived underground as an argument. Splinter stated, "Actually, I have requested that Lilith remain here for a few days, for safety's sake."

"By that, he means that I'm not allowed to leave because he'll lock me up if I try." Lilith stated bitterly. "Which is _totally_ unfair, because Casey and April get to go home!" Splinter frowned. "Casey and April were not just spotted by a large horde of Kraang aiding the turtles." Lilith argued, "They have been before!" Splinter gave her a look.

"But they have been seen in New York multiple times. You just came back after one year. They will try to kill you because they do not know when or if you are leaving. If you are, they will want revenge before you do." Lilith snapped, "I thought you wanted me to stay here because of increased Foot activity in downtown?" SPlinter stumbled, "I-I do, but the Kraang are yet another problem to deal with!"

"That's just an excuse! Why do you really want me to stay here?" The other humans and the turtles watched in disbelief as their master and their friend went back and forth in their verbal banter. Raph muttered to Leo, without looking away from the argument, "Ten bucks Lilith wins the argument and runs off." A reply of, "You're on. My money's on Sensei." Raph snorted, "Teacher's pet." and they returned their attention to the argument.

Mikey whispered to them, "Dudes, I want in on this. Ten bucks someone jumps in to break them up." The three shook hands just as Splinter stated, "I want you to remain here for your safety!" Lilith's eyes flashed. "And what about April and Casey's safety? I don't see you trying to protect them!" Splinter growled, "April and Casey know how to defend themselves!"

"Oh, so I can't defend myself! That's it! What do you think I was doing in Alaska, scratching my ass? No! I was following a lead I got on the Foot clan!"

"I did not say that you couldn't defend yourself! But April and Casey have more training than you!"

" _April_ has more training than me, and only because I taught myself! Casey just knows how to beat people with sticks!"

"And yet they both outclass you!"

"So you _do_ think I'm useless!"

"I do not! I simply think that you should recieve more training before you go home!"

"So you think that I'm not good enough, that it?!"

"I never said that!"

"It _sounds_ like that's what you're saying!"

Raph muttered, "I'm doubling my bid." Mikey and Leo agreed and turned back to the argument.

"I'm telling you, I just think that you should train before you go fighting the Foot!"

"Oh, so now this is sbout me fighting the Foot? We were just talking about how you think I should stay here like a useless little girl while April and Casey go home and you keep the guys from leaving!"

"Leonardo told me about your little hero 'leap of faith,' and you have no training. You could have died!"

"But I didn't! What does that have to do with me staying here?!"

"I'm saying that you are reckless, and if you are out there, without training, that recklessness will cause you to do something stupid!"

"Stupid! Now you think I'm _stupid?_ Pick an insult and stick with it, Splinter! You've got three to choose from now! Useless, not good enough, and stupid!"

"I'm not _trying_ to insult you! I am merely trying to prevent you from getting hurt!"

"Getting hurt by being stupid, useless, or not good enough?"

"Stop twisting my words! I merely wish-"

"For me to hide behind manhole covers? Sorry, but I'm not a coward!"

"I'm no coward."

"I didn't say you were! I'm saying that there is no way in hot, fiery hell that you're keeping me here because I don't have training that fits your standards!"

"You know what? Fine! Go where you wish! I'm not stopping you!"

"Thank you!" Lilith snarled, turning her back on her old friend and marching to the garage. Leo and Mikey handed Raph twenty dollars each. Raph grinned and 'pocketed' the money. "I'm too good." He then frowned as Splinter slumped slightly. "You okay, Sensei?" he asked, stepping towards his surrogate father. Splinter looked over, eyes sad. "I'm fine, Raphael. Just tired. I only wished to protect her."

The sound of Lilith's truck driving away filled the sewers for a moment before it was gone. Raph frowned. "Why'd she react so badly to being kept here with us?" Splinter sighed. "She reacted the same way when I originally requested that she stay. I had hoped that I could convince her, but..." Raphael cocked his head. "But why doesn't she wanna stay here?"

"I don't know, dude, maybe she's claustrophobic." Mikey suggested. "What does that have to do with her wanting to stay here?" Leo asked, raising an eye ridge. "Well, claustrophobic people don't like sewers, right?"

"Mikey, claustrophobia is the fear of tight, enclosed spaces." Donnie stated, eyes half-closed in an 'you're an idiot' fashion. Mikey gave him a dull look and Leo stated, "It means you don't like being cramped. Like that time you got buried in a pile of dirty laundry. Claustrophobic people wouldn't like that. Where did you even _get_ dirty laundry, anyway? We don't wear clothes!"

"I'm not tellin' you..." Mikey muttered. Splinter interupted, "I believe that you should go after Lilith, make sure she arrives safely at home and remains safe." Raph nodded. "Sensei's right." Leo rolled his eyes. "You just want an excuse to go topside one last time before our under-grounding." Raph shrugged. "So what? That's a nice plus side, but I'd still like to be sure that our friend gets back okay."

"Who are you and where's Raph?" Mikey asked, poking Raphael's face. Raph put a hand on his face and shoved him. (remember the episode the lonely mutation of baxter stockman? just like that. ^.^) Mikey cried out as he flew over the TV and landed in a stack of DVDs. "Let's go." Raph stated cheerfully. "There's Raph..." Mikey muttered dazedly. "Three of him, actually... And birdies. I like birdies."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Okay, first, in answer to Princess Bunny (Guest)'s review: I appreciate that you think it was cute. :3 And also, yes, she is disrespectful to Splinter, because instead of seeing him as an old martial arts master who deserves respect, she sees him as an old friend. While she should be more respectful, she's kind of that one person who people tend to like but is kind of an asshole that sometimes people want to kill. XD I based her interactions with Splinter on interactions I have with some of my close friends. In answer to your question about Lilith and Leo, I can see them getting closer and becoming better friends. And while Leo could probably give her some good pointers on dealing with everyone's favorite hothead, I'd be willing to bet that Lilith could offer Leo some advice as well.

Anyway, on to the next chapter! (Psst. Thanks for reviewing! I love you! :3 Peace out, ninja. X3)

Lilith flopped down on the bed that had been her dad's. _It's nice to be home, but it's also painful._ She thought, glancing over at the picture of her and her dad she kept on the nightstand. She shook her head before walking over to her dad's old dresser. She pulled out on of his shirts, as well as a bra and underwear, before walking into the bathroom. _Master bedrooms are awesome. They have their own bathrooms._

She grabbed the bottle of bourbon she hid under the sink and downed half of it. _I feel kinda bad about yelling at Splinter like that. I'll have to go down tomorrow night and apologize._ She thought, her brain already buzzing from the alcohol. _Maybe it wasn't so smart to down all that in one go...Or to drink it at all. I still have two years til I can legally..._ She reflected, turning on the shower. _...Meh._ She chugged the rest and stepped into the shower.

"Raph, what the shell do you think you're doing?"

"Picking the lock. What's it look like, Fearless?"

"Vandalism and buglary."

"Ain'tcha the slightest bit curious as to what her pad looks like?

"...Move, I've got this." Leo turned the handle and opened the door. "What the- How-?" Leo shrugged. "The door was unlocked."

Raph facepalmed and shoved past him before gaping. "Guys... Look at _this_ joint!" he whispered. The other turtles walked in. "Holy crap! This place is huge!" Mikey gasped. Everyone's hands clapped over his mouth. " _Shhhh!_ " his brothers hissed. Leo gaped at the ceiling. "Guys! She has _skylights!_ " Two rectangle windows were embedded in the ceiling.

They wandered the house for ten minutes before Raph walked into the basement. There were four small rooms there, along with one large one that connected them, but they were supply closets. He moved back up the stairs, only to find that his brothers were gone. He froze as someone flicked on the light, revealing Lilith standing there with a metal baseball bat. She let the end of the bat fall to the ground.

"Raph, you just about got bludgeoned with a steel baseball bat. What do you want? I'm so tired I can't feel my face." Her words were slightly slurred. Raph stared. She was standing in nothing but a thin blue button up shirt, which was stained from paint or maybe oil, as well as a bra and underwear. Raph mentally shook himself. "I jus' wanted ta make sure ya got home okay. And then I got curious as ta watch yer pad looked like. Nice place ya got here." Lilith grinned slightly. "Thanks." she said.

She paused before saying, "Leo, outta th' skylight, Donnie, out of the fridge, 'nd Mikey, you aren't a lamp." Leo fell from the ceiling, Donnie opened the door to the fridge, and Mikey lifted the lampshade off of his head. "How'd you know?!" Leo demanded. Lilith shrugged. "Ah knew some'in was in 'ere. When ah came in and di'n see anehbohdy, ah thoughdit might be you.

"Then ah 'eard the fridge shut, saw Mike tryna be a lamp when ah _know_ ah dohn own a turdull lamp, 'nd Leo, it's a full moon. Ah saw ya shadow." Leo cursed himself mentally. If Lilith had been an enemy, be it Foot Ninja, Kraang, or even Shredder himself, Leo would be dead. He made a note to do better next time. Lilith said, "Ah dohn mahnd ya guys chillin if ya evurr wanna. There're two spare bedrooms righ' there." She pointed them out.

"If ya evurr need a place ta crash, ya can c'mere 'nd chill. Anehwayz. Ah'ma jus' sleep off all that alcohol ah jus' drinked." Raph blinked. "I thought ya said ya was nineteen." Lilith swayed slightly. "Ah _am_ nahnteen. 'Nd ah just chugged me sum burrbane. Nuhnight." She collasped, dropping the bat on Mikey's foot. Leo yelped and caught her out of reflex as Mikey let out a scream so high pitched that the turtles couldn't hear it, but set dogs barking for miles. "Yeesh! She even _smells_ like alcohol." Leo choked.

He shook his head, and, with a helpless glance at his brothers, carried her into the room she'd walked out of. He laid her on the giant bed before returning to his brothers. Raph glanced at him. "Y'know, Fearless, Masta Splinta said ta make sure that Lils' was safe. In dis condition, she ain't gonna make it far if she decides ta leave or if da bad guys _do_ attack, like Splinta's afraid of."

Leo's eyes narrowed. He knew that his brother was just trying to get him to let them stay, but he _did_ make a good point. "You're right, Raphael. We'll stay the night to make sure she's safe then head home tomorrow." Raph looked shocked that Leo had agreed so easily, then grinned. "Sweet!" Mikey cheered, only to have three pairs of hands slap over his mouth. " _ **SHHH!**_ " His brothers hissed.

Mikey grinned sheepishly. "Sorry!" he whispered.

Raphael rolled his eye. "Dibs on _not_ sleepin' in the same room as Mikey."

Leonardo and Donnie exchanged a glance. "Let's settle this like adults." Leo said, holding out a fist. His face was deathly serious. "Best two out of three." Donnie nodded gravely before putting out his own fist.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors! Rock, Paper, Scissors! Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Donnie fist pumped as Leo sighed in defeat.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

So i done fucked up. this was originally part of chapter 5, but i clicked the wrong file, so you guys get an early update!

And to Princess Bunny (Guest), thank you for reviewing again! And to answer your question, Leo agreed so easily because he knows that Splinter sees Lilith as part of the family and is trying to respect that. Also, even if he won't admit it, he knows that Raph was kinda right, even if he did just want to get out of the lair for a while longer.

In other news...

 _ **THERE IS A NEW DISHONORED COMING OUT PEOPLE! I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED.**_

Anyway.

Storytime motherfuckers.

Raph sat up. He didn't know what woke him, but it wasn't a good thing. Lilith poked her head in. "You heard it too?" She said, seeing him awake. Raph nodded. Lilith listened. "It's coming from my garage. Let's go." Raph woke Donnie, who sat up quietly and blinked at him. The two turtles followed Lilith to the living room. Lilith ducked under a desk in the far corner of the room.

After grabbing her daggers, she crept towards a door on the far side of the room. Leonardo and Michelangelo followed, having walked out a moment before. She flicked a switch and the noises stopped. She opened the door. "Who'zair?" she slurred, sounding like a tired person just out of bed rather than a dangerous nineteen-year-old woman ready to kill people/robots with a dagger.

She grumbled angrily at the lack of response and stepped forward, only to have a Footbot drop down in front of her, causing her to scream and instinctively kick it down the stairs, destroying it. More foot instanly dropped from the ceiling. Lilith snarled. "Oh _hell_ to the _**fuck**_ no! Get out of my house!" She threw one of her daggers. It sailed end over end before burying itself in the head of a Footbot and knocking _that_ Footbot into several _other_ Footbots. Said Footbots then commenced to fry each other's circuits.

Lilith walked down the stairs and was immediately swarmed by robot ninjas. Raphael whooped and hopped the banister to join the fray. Mikey and Donnie looked at Leonardo, eyes pleading. Leo smirked. "Master Splinter _did_ say to keep Lilith safe." He hopped the railing. His brothers cheered and followed, tackling ninja as they landed. Lilith reached for her dagger, ignoring the sparking robots, but was stopped by Raph.

"Are ya _tryin'_ ta getcha self electrahcuted?" Lilith blinked and glanced at the dagger embedded in the Footbot's head, realizing Raph's point. "True... I'll just have to take this guy's weapon then." She tackled a nearby Foot ninja and ripped his chain-sickle from his hands. "I'll be taking your kusarigama, thank you." The robot had no time to protest as its head was bashed in with the butt of its own weapon.

Lilith looked up at the sound of a pained shout. Leo was caught in the middle of several ninja with no means of escape. Lilith darted towards the blue-banded turtle. Her eyes widened as a particularly large ninja raised its katana above its head, ready to strike down Leonardo. Lilith gripped her new weapon in her hand and swung the weight on the end of the chain above her head.

"Leo, look out!" She shouted. He whipped around just as she threw the chain. It wrapped around the ninja's katana, stopping it, and Lilith jerked the chain towards her. The katana-and the ninja with it-came towards her, but she whipped her dagger up, trapping the weapon in place. The ninja froze. Lilith smirked and punched it in the face before kicking it backwards. "Timbeeeeeeer!" she hollered, laughing.

"Leo, incoming!" Leo had returned to fighting, but turned at Lilith's call. He yelped and rolled away as the large ninja fell, crushing several smaller Footbots and causing a miniature explosion. Suddenly, the garage door began opening.

"Lily!" It was Michelangelo. "Lily! Leo! They're taking Raph! Help!" The orange-banded turtle pointed to a pair of ninja who indeed had Raph. The hothead was cursing and swearing as they pulled him off. Lilith held out her chain, tightening her grip on it. "Leo, the garage door! Hurry! Grab the ninja with Raph!" Leo jumped onto the chain and Lilith heaved upwards as he sprang backwards, flipping and landing directly in front of the ninja taking Raph away.

What no one expected, however, was for another ninja to appear behind Leo and taze him before grabbing him as well. The foot loaded the two into a car and started it. Donnie spun his bo, knocking away the ninja near him, and ran for the garage door as Foot ninja fled. "Quick! To my truck!" Lilith shouted as the last of the ninja fled and the car with their friends sped away. "Wearing _that?!_ " Donnie demanded.

All Lilith wore was her shirt, bra and underwear. "Does it sound like I have time to change!? Come _on,_ they're almost out of here!" She started the car and slammed her foot down on the accelerator. Mikey, who had claimed the front seat, looked somber and scared. "Dammit! They're gone already!" Lilith swore colorfully. "Donnie, see if you can track Raph's or Leo's shell cell!"

"Already on it! Raph's is either broken or off, but I've got a strong signal from Leo's! We'll just have to pray that they're in the same place." Lilith grumbled. "Hope, pray, all just words." She raised her voice. "Donnie, get me directions to Leo's signal ASAP. We don't know what those ninja want. It could be a morale thing, or they could be planning to execute your brothers."

Donnie and Mikey gulped. Donnie got directions. Lilith grinned and slammed her foot down on the accelerator. The needle of the speedometer climbed to one twenty. Donnie fed her directions. "Right! Right! Left! Straight! Hang a right! Straight! Keep straight! Left, now!" Lilith jerked the wheel, tires skidding on the pavement, as she followed the instructions. Several red lights were ran that night, and multiple police cars evaded.

"We're here!" Donnie said. Lilith skidded into an old motel parking lot filled with Foot ninja, tires smoking. Lilith turned off the car and stepped out of the vehicle, Donnie and Mikey following, all three having their weapons drawn. The first row of Foot parted as they approached. "Be ready for anything." Lilith muttered when the Foot made no move to attack, only parting for them to pass before closing behind them.

Sobbing, however, caught them off guard. Dread filled Lilith's gut. Only two people could be crying right now, neither of whom Lilith would want to heaar cry. Something terrible had happened. She knew it. The last row of ninja parted and Lilith froze, choking on a scream, as Michelangelo and Donatello crashed in to her from behind, letting out choked sobs themselves. Leo looked up at her, tears in his blue eyes. "L-Lilith...! H-He's...!"

And then they saw Raphael.


	7. Chapter 7

To my lovely Princess Bunny: ha. You'll just have to see in this next chapter. :D Raph is _my_ first favorite though, so killing him is going to be tough on me as well. And I hope you don't mind apologizing to a corpse, just in case.

Raph: You are one mean bitch Serryx.

Quiet Raph, this is an _author's_ note. Anyway, from now on Guillotine will be updating every Friday, so no need to check back evey two hours! :D

Now once again...

It's storytime motherfuckers.

"L-Lilith... I think he's dead!" Lilith choked back a shocked cry. Leo held Raphael tightly against his plastron. Raph's blood pooled on the ground and smeared on Leo's chest and arms. The hothead bled from few wounds, but those wounds were deep. One wound cut deeply into his left bicep, a good four inches long, and there was a stab wound oozed blood from his left shoulder.

One of his own sai were embedded in his calf. Two wounds in particular worried Lilith. One on his chest, which looked like another sai stab, and one on his head. The head wound looked like he had been smashed against the concrete. Lilith shook her head, took a breath, and snapped, "Donnie, Mikey, watch my back. I'll... I'll check." The two reluctantly moved, tears streaming down their faces, as Lilith knelt next to their two brothers.

Leo shifted slightly, hugging Raph closer. "Leo. Come on. I promise that I'm not a bad guy. Just trust me for once. Please?" Leo narrowed his eyes, but loosened his grip slightly, leaning his head on top of Raph's emerald green one as tears poured down his face. "I'm so sorry, Raph." Lilith barely heard him whisper. Lilith lit a match ((me: where the fuck did she get matches wtf?!)) and held it in front of Raph's face.

The flame flickered as a faint wind blew through. _So much for that._ Lilith tossed the match behind her, smirking inwardly as she heard one of the Footbots light up like a firework. Carefully, she reached out for Raph's throat. Leo watched her carefully, tears still streaming down his cheeks. She pressed her fingertips to Raphael's throat and her heart stopped.

She closed her eyes. "We'd better get his body back home." She whispered. Mikey, upon hearing this, let out a scream of anguish and fell to the ground, sobbing. Donnie leaned heavily on his staff, choking as he cried out, begging for forgiveness from Raph for not being able to save him. Leo let out a roar filled with grief and anger. Lilith felt tears stream down her face as she watched the brothers' reactions to the confirmation of their hotheaded brother's death.

Leo picked Raphael up carefully. "Shredder! Where the hell are you?!" Shredder walked through the crowd of Foot ninja, cackling. "Right here, my dear Leonardo. Though not for long! I'll leave you all to grieve and mourn and plot revenge. And when you come for me, it will be your doom. Footbots! Retreat!" The Shredder threw down a smoke bomb. "Oh, and a small parting gift..."

Mikey gave a cry of pain as a small dart practically appeared in his skin. "Mikey!" Leo cried. The smoke cleared and the Foot were gone, along with Michelangelo. The one everyone knew and loved anyway. In his place was a baby mutant turtle. Lilith gasped. "He's turned into a baby?!" She gritted her teeth. "Damn it... Come on." She slapped Leonardo and Donatello on their shoulders.

"We've got plans to make and a Shredder to kill. Get in my truck. _Now._ " She picked up Mikey and his things before getting into her truck. Leo carried Raph and slid into the back while Donnie climbed up front. Lilith handed the baby Mikey to Donnie before writing something on a sheet of paper from her dashboard. "Don, I need you to do something for me. Short circuit every bit of technology in a ten-foot radius except for necessary truck functions."

Donnie was confused, but did so. "Okay. Why did I do that?" Leo asked, "Do what?" Lilith ignored Leo and looked at Donnie. "Because there was a tracker, an audio device, and a bomb in my truck." Leo screamed, " _ **What?!**_ " Mikey began to cry and Lilith unwrapped a random Ring Pop she had lying around before putting it in the baby mutant's mouth. "Leo, be quiet. And try not to jostle Raph too much, unless you want him to bleed to death."

Leo's head shot up. "He's alive?!"

"Barely. I'll explain on the way." She started the car and started driving. "I'll start from the beginning. Shredder kidnapped you two because you're the leader and Raph is the rock, keeping you all grounded and on your toes, even if he is unpreddictable. All four of you are super close. Shredder was hoping that by making you watch Raph die, you would break and your team would be fucked because their rock and their leader were done for.

"So he captured you two, tried to kill Raph, but failed. He failed because although those injuries would kill a human, Raph isn't entirely human. However, the amount of blood he's loosing could be deadly, so we have to hurry. Anyway, he said that he was going to let us go, but I knew we wouldn't get out so easily. I saw his goons messing with my truck through the smoke a minute before we got in.

"I'm just guessing about the bomb, but there's an audio device under my emergency brake, and there's a tracker on my radio antenna. But a bomb would make sense, because he would wait for us to get to the sewers, then blow us up." Donnie gaped. "Where did you learn how to tell all that?" Lilith grinned slightly. "My dad. He was in the military. He served in infantry, he was a spy, he did so many dangerous things...

"But that's not important. Right now, we have a baby Mikey, which is trouble, a severely injured Raph who, I won't lie, may well not survive the night. We have to figure out what was done to Mikey and we have to get Raph treatment. And we need to get you two some therapy, because you look like you need it." Leo and Donnie cracked tiny smiles.

Lilith sighed. "And, uh. We have to explain this to Splinter." Leo gave a sharp intake of breath and Donnie bowed his head. "If he doesn't wake up within the next day or so..." Donnie said tentatively, "I don't think he _will_ wake up." Lilith lifted her head as she turned a corner. "I'll go in first with Mikey and Don. Donnie, you go get something that could be used as stretcher while I explain what happened." Leo interrupted, "No. I'm not going to leave you to take all the responsibility. I won't let you explain it to Splinter on your own. It's going to be tough."

"I know that, Leo. I fucking know that." Lilith wiped her eyes. "I have to tell Splinter that one son is literally a baby and that he might lose another one. I fucking know it will be hard. But I have to. I'm the one who got drunk. You guys stayed at my place to protect me, right? From myself or otherwise? I woke you guys up when I heard something in my garage. I didn't drive fast enough. I didn't listen to Splinter. I fucking _yelled_ at Splinter.

"But that's not why I have to do it. Leo, someone needs to stay with Raph while Donnie's getting the stretcher, and it will take two people to carry him. I don't want you carrying him on your own not because I doubt your strength, but because he might have something wrong inside. Plus, I cant lift even _half_ of a six foot high mutant turtle. I'm skinny, remember?"

Leo protested, "But you helped me get to the garage door by lifting me!" Lilith turned again. "I held out a chain and used your own momentum to help you out. Not my strength." She paused before retrieving the chain sickle from the floor. "Speaking of, I'd better get rid of this in case they put trackers on their weapons. Better safe than sorry." She tossed the kusarigama out the window.

There was a groan from the backseat. "I know, Leo, it was a perfectly good-"

"That wasn't me." Leo interrupted.

"..." Donnie said.

"..." Lilith said.

"..." Leo said.

"...gahehe!" Mikey said.

Lilith pulled over. She and Donnie paused for a moment, then twisted in their seats. Raphael squinted at them. "...Hi." He muttered. With that word, he passed out. Lilith and Donnie looked at each other. Leo leaned forward and they looked at him. The three blinked as grins creeped across their faces. Lilith turned to the steering wheel and pulled onto the road again, driving down the road at _least_ twenty MPH over the speed limit.

Donnie hugged Mikey, grinning. Leo sat back, relieved, and placed Raph's head in his lap.

Their brother and friend was definitely alive.

Mikey squealed happily.


	8. Chapter 8

IT'S FRIDAY MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT'S UPDATE DAY!

I'm going to be honest, you guys almost didn't get one today because I forgot it was Friday, I totally thought it was Thursday, and didn't upload this til like 9:45.

But I love my readers, so I remembered.

ANYWAY.

To the fabulous Princess Bunny, (love you girly) YOU'RE WELCOME FOR NOT KILLING RAPH. hahaha i dont think I could deal with having killed bae.

Raph: Lucky for me

Leo: Raph, shut up. I'm mad at you for making me think you were dead.

STFU BOTH OF YOU AND GET INTO YOUR POSITIONS. ahem. anyway, you'll see splinter's reaction in this-

Raph: hold on! *reading reviews* it was YOU who put that cockroach in my bed?! God fucking-

HAMATO RAPHAEL GTFO. anywayyyyyyzzzzz...

It.

Is.

Storytime.

Motherfuckers.

Chapter 8

Lilith parked her truck in the turtles' garage. She glanced back at Raph before climbing out of the car and taking Mikey, who was wrapped in a blanket that Lilith had had in the back, from Donnie. The two glanced at each other before walking inside the lair. Splinter, who had been meditating, leapt to his feet. "My sons, you-" he began, but froze. "L-Lilith! You- Donatello- What happened to you all?!" They had been so worried about Raph and Mikey that they hadn't realized that they themselves were bruised and bleeding, Donnie more so than Lilith.

Lilith swallowed. "Donnie go get that stretcher and help Leo." Donnie hesitated. "You don't have to do this yourself." He said. Lilith shook her head. "Raph needs help _now._ It's best if we all do what we're best at in the given situation. Right now, you're best at heavy lifting when compared to me." Donnie frowned, but darted to his lab. Splinter had a worried expression. His tail flicked nervously.

"Lilith, what happened? When my sons did not return last night, I suspected they stayed the day with you, but when they didn't come back tonight..." Splinter hesitated. Lilith clenched her teeth. "S-S... Splinter, I have something to tell you." Splinter waited. "They did stay with me. I, ah... I did something stupid, so they were going to stay with me until I sobered up and come back tonight.

"B-But tonight, s-some Foot ninja broke into my garage. Me and the guys went in and were ambushed. We fought them, but..." Lilith swallowed. "Leonardo and Raphael were taken. Me, Donnie, and Mikey got into my truck and chased them using the tracker on Leo's shell cell. But when we found them... Raph was seriously hurt and Leo was protecting him. We thought Raphael was dead at first. He's not." She said quickly when Splinter stiffened.

"But... The Shredder showed up. He said he was going to let us go, to grieve and plot, but he had planted a bomb and several bugs on my truck. Donnie fried everything. But before he left... Shredder... He..." Lilith swallowed and carefully handed the blanket-wrapped Mikey to Splinter before removing the blanket from the baby mutant's face.

Splinter's breath caught in his throat. Donnie darted past with the stretcher. Splinter managed, "This is... Michelangelo..." Lilith bowed her head. "Y-Yeah. We don't know how he did it, but I grabbed the dart that caused it." She held up the small thing. Splinter shook his head. "That is not important at the moment. Michelangelo was a healthy child, and if all that potion did was return him to that state, I'm certain that Michelangelo will be fine.

"However..." Splinter took a deep breath. "I am concerned about my other sons. From what you say, Raphael was gravely injured while Leonardo was forced to watch on. And for Donatello to see his brother in such a state... I worry for all three of them, physically and spiritually. And you as well. You are mentally scarred. You are injured as well, despite how well you may hide it."

"How did you-?!"Lilith began, hand flying to her side. Then her eyes narrowed. "You fucking fuck. You tricked me." Splinter's whiskers twitched. "I did no such thing. I smelled blood." Lilith's eyes narrowed. "For all you know it was Raph's." Splinter shrugged. "In your words... 'Meh.'" Lilith scowled, then turned as Donnie and Leo carried Raphael in.

"Oh, no...!" Splinter choked, seeing the blood dripping from the stretcher and his son's body. Donnie and Leo carried their hotheaded brother to Donatello's lab, Splinter and Lilith following. Donnie had everything already set up, IV and all. He saw Lilith's look. "I'm almost always prepared." Lilith nodded as Donnie set Raphael up with an IV. Donnie groaned. "He needs blood, but while we have human blood types, none of us have the kind he can take!"

"What type of blood does he have?" Lilith asked. Donnie sighed. "He has the universal donor blood. O Negative. But none of us have O Negative! And we don't have time to go to a hospital to-"

Lilith sat down and stuck a needle into herself. "What are you doing?!" Donnie demanded. Lilith stared at him. "Take mine." Donnie and Leo exchanged a glance. Splinter said what was on all of their minds.

"What?"

LIlith looked serious. "I said, take mine. My blood type is O Negative. Take my fucking blood." Leo's eyes widened as Splinter and Donnie looked at each other. "You're sure you're O Negative?" Leo asked.

"I've been donating as much fucking blood as I can for three years, yes I'm fucking sure. Now take it already!" Lilith snapped. "You're blood is _seriously_ O negative?!" Leo asked again. Lilith finally snapped. " _Yes!_ Thank you, Captain Obvious! Because I totally _haven't_ been saying that for five fucking minutes! Now please leave so this fucking vampire machine can take my blood and not give Raph any _more_ blood pressure to deal with from _my_ blood!"

Leo held up his hands in surrender and left. Donnie grinned as he hooked Lilith up to the machine that would take her blood.

Several minutes later, a completely woozy Lilith stumbled around the room. "Maybe I took too much..." Donnie said hesitantly. "Take as much of the damned stuff as you need. It'll come back." Lilith slurred. "I'm just gonna go eat then sleep this off." She walked out. Splinter touched his unconscious son's face. "Will he be alright, Donatello?"

"If I'm honest, I'm not sure. When he woke up for a moment earlier, I was sure he'd live, but now..." Donnie sighed. "He's slipped into a coma. We can only hope that he'll come back, like Leo did." Leo walked in. "Anybody know where she got cereal and milk? Ours has been bad for a while now and there was a distinct lack of chunks in her cereal. And we don't own that brand, anyway."

Donatello stated, "I think she has a cooler or something in her truck." Leo nodded. His gaze fell to Raph. "How is he?" Donnie sighed. "He's stable, for now, but he's in a coma and he needs more blood, but I don't want to risk harming Lilith's health by taking too much at once."

"If you need more blood, take it." Donnie looked sharply at Leo, only to find that it wasn't him who spoke. It was Lilith. "What's the issue? Raph needs blood, I have it. Take it." Lilith said simply. "But taking too much could-"

"Make me sick, kill me, blah blah blah, I know that. But I haven't given blood in two month before this, so I have all the blood I need. And Raph needs it more than I do." Donnie shook his head. "With your weight, age, and mass, you probably have about eleven pints of blood total. I've already taken four. If I take any more it's likely that it would be detrimental to your health!"

"I don't care! Even if this harms my health, Raph could die without more blood, right? Just take some more from me! Besides, he lost a lot! He's bigger than I am and needs more than just four!" Lilith argued. Donnie rubbed his face. "Here. I'll make a deal with you. I'll take some more of your blood." Lilith looked pleased to have won the argument, but Donnie continued, "But not right now. Go to sleep. Rest up and let your blood cells replenish, and if Raph gets worse or something happens within the next week, _then_ I'll take your blood. But if nothing happens, we wait at _least_ a week to take more blood from you."

Lilith scowled, then sighed. "Fine. We'll wait." Donnie patted her shoulder. "Thanks. Hey, look at it this way, if we took more blood now and it harmed your health, we wouldn't be able to take more later if Raph _really_ needed it, then he would be in serious trouble." Lilith conceded his point. Donnie set up a second cot about a foot from Raph's. "If you would, I'd appreciate it if you'd sleep in here. That way if I did take too much blood or something happens, you're right here."

Lilith just shrugged and flopped on the cot. Snoring came two second later. Donnie and Leo rolled their eyes while Mikey squealed happily. Splinter stated, "I will leave them to you, Donatello. I am going to meditate upon these events."

"Hai, Sensei." Donnie said, bowing slightly. Splinter nodded. Before he left he said, "The three of you should attempt to get some sleep. _Soon._ " The way he said it implied that it was not a suggestion. The three brothers nodded. From Lilith, a drunken sounding "Yez, _zir!_ " came. Leo and Donnie just facepalmed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I don't even think I need to say who you are anymore, but I will! Thank you to Princess Bunny once again! Love you girlyyyyyy! :3 Anyway, since today is father's day, I decided to update early! Now you'll only have to wait five days for chapter ten! ...I really hope you actually check back on this. Just sign up already so that you'll know when I decide to do shit like dis! :'( Anyways, I love you even if you don't have an account! XD

Raph: Hey what're you doin'?

RAPH GTFO

Raph: What? Why? Why're you coverin' da computah like that?

*wrapping myself around laptop screen* n-n-n-n-n-n-NO REASON BACK THE FUCK OFF OKAY

Raph: ...whoa. chill bro. chill.

THEN GO AWAY

Raph: no. now I'm curious as ta what exactly is on dat computah.

one, it's a laptop, and two, nothing!

Raph: ...*tackles me*

NOPE!

STORY INTRO WHOOP

STORYTIME MOTHERFUCK-RAPH GET THE FUCK OFF

BITCH I SAID STRYTIME MOTHERFUCKERS GO GO GO

Lilith rubbed her arms where the needle had just been taken from. Donnie took the now full blood bag and moved away, leaving her to slowly get up and stretch. She glanced at Raph. It had been two months since he was injured and Mikey turned into an infant. Donnie had no idea what had happened to his brother, but he was studying the remnants of a chemical found in the youngest's blood the he suspected to be the cause.

So far, Mikey seemed like any healthy infant. He always wanted attention, he ate like a champ, and he laughed and giggled a lot. He rarely cried, only doing so when left alone for too long or when he was extremely hungry, and Donatello and Leonardo took turns showering him with attention. Lilith helped as well, but most of the time she was trying to help clean up around the lair or training with Splinter, going stir crazy just sitting around.

Raph hadn't changed much. According to Donnie, his body was having issues making red blood cells. Not only that, but one of his wounds had become infected. "If this keeps up, we may well have to get blood from the hospital." Donnie said miserably. "Soon, you probably won't be enough to keep Raph alive. Don't get me wrong, you saved his life many times over by now!" Other than the blood issue and the infection, Raph's other wounds were perfectly fine, already healed.

Donnie had even made a special bed so that Raph's shell wouldn't keep his neck at an awkward angle. The shape was the same, except that instead of being fat, there was a large dip in the middle for Raph's shell.

When Lilith walked out of Donnie's lab, Leo and Mikey were staring at the TV, mouths slightly agape. Lilith snickered when she heard Captain Ryan's voice from Space Heroes. Mikey was sitting on Leo's lap, eyes wide as he watched the screen. Leo was so into the show that he didn't even hear when Lilith walked up behind him and rubbed her hands together.

She took a breath, leaned over Leo's shoulder, and grabbed his shoulders while whispering loudly, " _Boo!_ " Leo screamed and jumped ten feet in the air, hugging Mikey protectively to his shell. The infant squealed excitedly when he saw Lilith and Leo relaxed. " _You almost gave me a heart attack, woman!_ " he hissed, sitting heavily on the floor and wheezing. "But I didn't!" Lilith pointed out.

Leo, still wheezing, gave her a weak glare. "Close enough!" he huffed. "You might as well have! Yeesh... Here, take Mikey, I just pissed my shell, so I'm going to go take care of that." Lilith laughed and took the youngest turtle. "Okay. Have fun with that." Leo added, "And you can take a bath with him when I'm done." Lilith's eyes widened, but Leo had already shut the bathroom door.

"Leo!" Lilith shouted. "There is no way I am taking a bath with Mikey!" Donnie popped his head out of his lab. "He seriously wants you to do that?" Lilith rolled her eyes. "YYYYYup." Donnie rolled his eyes. "Well baths will have to wait. I've got a lead on that chemical." He wrote something down on a sheet of paper as Lilith walked in. "It was manufactured by some company called Alaskan Kraanberries. With a K and two A's. Kinda strange to have in New York, but whatever."

Donnie tore the sheet in half and handed the half with writing to Lilith. "The company owns a warehouse at this address. Maybe you'll be able to find something there." Lilith blinked. " _Just_ me?" Donnie nodded. "You're less conspicuous than mutant turtles, so yeah." Lilith shrugged. "Okay. Here, hold this." She handed Mikey to Donnie. Donnie rolled his eyes. "Just be careful, and stay in touch with your shell cell."

Lilith pulled the headset out of her shell cell. "Gotcha." She put the headset on. "If you have a motercycle liscence, you can take Raph's bike." Lilith laughed. "Ha. _If_ I have a motorcycle liscence. Of course I have one." She pulled it out. Donnie blinked. He had been kidding, but whatever. Lilith put the liscence away and walked out. She grabbed a motorcycle helmet out of her truck (jeez, she has everything in there...) and put it on. She also hauled out a black backpack and swung it over her shoulder.

She flipped down the visor and swung her leg over the bike and started it. She glanced at the fuel gauge and rolled her eyes. "Almost empty." she mumbled. " _What's almost empty?_ " Donnie's voice startled her. She grumbled silently before replying, "The tank. It hasn't been refilled in a few rides, clearly. I'll have to take care of that."

" _If you say so. Anyway, just go to the address I gave you and have a look around. Don't do anything reckless._ " Lilith rolled her eyes. "Nope. I'm totally going to walk in and get captured by the Foot, Kraang, and Bishop all at once and get turned into a mutant fucking turtle with a speaking disorder." She said sarcastically. She could practically see Donnie facepalming.

" _Just go on._ " Donnie groaned, exasperated. Lilith grinned. "Alright." She revved the motorcycle. "Let's see how this baby handles." Donnie begged, " _Please don't break it._ " Lilith laughed. "Chill. I won't." She got the bike out of the garage and grinned before gunning the throttle. " _Gyah! Slow down! You're going to fast!_ " Donnie wailed over the headset.

"Donnie. I'm going sixty eight. I'm _under_ the speed limit." Donnie simply responded with an " _Oh._ " Lilith rolled her eyes. " _Well, I heard tires squealing!_ " Lilith sighed. "Guy next to me just pealed out of an alley." Donnie didn't respond.

Lilith grinned inwardly as she sped up a little, bobbing and weaving through traffic. "This motorcycle is great. It handles really well." She stated. " _Well it should._ I _built it._ " Donnie said proudly. Lilith snorted. "Humble." she said sarcastically. Donnie groaned. " _Just get to the warehouse._ " Lilith grinned. "Already there." Donnie squeaked, " _Seriously?! How fast were you going?!_ "

"Dunno." Lilith said as she pulled into the parking lot. "Fast." She hid the bike, leaving the helmet on her head, and creeped over to the warehouse, pulling the kusarigama Splinter had given her from her bag. She peered around the corner, blinking. She slipped carefully inside, hiding behind large boxes and such. " _Find anything yet?_ " Donnie asked as she climbed onto several boxes to get a better view.

"Not yet. It's mainly boxes and garbage bags full of shit." Lilith slid the blade of her chain sickle under the lid of a box and pried it open. "Oh, shit." Lilith breathed. " _What? What is it? Lilith? You there?_ " Lilith swallowed. "Yeah, I'm here. With a whole lot of bombs." Donnie choked," _What?! did you say bombs?_ " Lilith paused. "Yeah. wait a sec..." She blinked. "These aren't bombs. They're empty mutagen canisters."

" _Empty?!_ " Lilith opened another box. "It looks like all of them are completely drained except for like... A drop."

" _How many are there?!_ " Lilith frowned. "That depends. How many could one five by five box hold?" Donnie paused. "Maybe thirty canisters. Why?" Lilith swallowed. "Because we are in serious trouble. There's about a hundred five by five boxes in here." Lilith climbed over a box and slipped towards the back of the ware house. " _A hundred?! Then there's about three thousand canisters in there!_ " Donnie yelped.

Lilith froze. "Yeah. And we have another problem."

" _Oh great, how could this get worse?!_ "

Lilith groaned. "The Alaskan Kraanberry company is run by the Kraang!"

" _What?!_ " Lilith nodded. "Yep. And they're working on something big."

" _Can you tell what it is?_ " Lilith slipped behind extra boxes strewn about. She slipped closer to the thing. It was about seven feet high and five feet in diameter. "I think they just recently started." Lilith hissed thoughtfully, sliding up the visor on her helmet to get a better look. She walked over to a nearby terminal, ducking out of sight of the few Kraang that were nearby.

After typing a few things, she pulled up a diagram. "Holy shit!" Lilith breathed. " _What?! What is it?!_ " Donatello said tensely. Lilith snapped, "All these damned Kraang get free ice cream from Whitey's as payment!" She heard a smack and knew Donnie had just smacked himself. She snickered. "No, but seriously. I found a blueprint. Forwarding it to you now."

A few moments later, she heard Donnie give a sharp intake of breath. "What is it, Don?" Donatello stated, " _It's a blueprint for a mutagen vacuum! It works as a magnet, drawing the mutagen to it, then sucks it up with a sort of vacuum hose! Then it'll detonate and spray mutagen everywhere, taking out the whole city! And the thing is, the metal used to make it was cooled in mutagen!_ "

"So wait, the metal itself has been mutated?!" Lilith demanded. " _Not necessarily, but close. It rearranged the molecules, making it almost indestructible. At least, it will be once the mutagen finishes its work._ " Lilith's eyes narrowed. "So if I destroy it before that happens...?" Donnie paused. " _It should still be soft. But you'll have to destroy it now._ "

"I can do that. But I'll need a favor first. Give me five minutes, then set off an electrical charge to blow the lights in here." Lilith said. " _Done and done._ " Donnie said confidently. Lilith pulled off her bag and rifled through it. She pulled out several objects. Four minutes later, she had a perfectly working bomb set and ready to blow at the push of a button.

She put her bag back on. "Kraang! There is a human in here!" Lilith froze and whipped around. Two Kraang had just spotted her. _Fuck!_ she thought, whipping her visor down. "I can see that, Kraang! Stop blabbing and shoot the human before the human escapes!" Lilith pulled out her kusarigama. _Thirty seconds before the lights go off. I just have to hold them for thirty seconds._

She yelped and dove behind a box as she was shot at. " _Lilith?! What's happening?_ " Lilith placed her back against the box. "Nothing, Donnie. Just be ready to cut the lights."

" _If you say so. Fifteen seconds._ " Lilith braced herself.

Fifteen seconds later, the lights went out.

Lilith grinned.

*Five Minutes Later*

" _Reports have come in of an explosion in the old warehouse two miles out of town. No one is for sure just what caused the explosion, though many suspect a gas leak was exposed to a flame. However, many conspirators believe it was sabotage. More on that later tonight._ " Lilith grinned and pushed a button on the side of her helmet, causing the small window on her visor to close. She sped up a little on the motorcycle.

" _Well done, now the entire country knows about a warehouse explosion. You should feel accomplished._ " Donnie said drily in her ear. Lilith rolled her eyes. "Hey, I took care of it, didn't I? Plus I got you a sample of whatever that stuff in Mikey was when the lights went out! Now not only can they not use that warehouse as a base, but the machine and the terminal being wrecked will set them back for a while!"

" _You didn't have to blow the whole warehouse! Just the machine and the terminal! ...Hold on._ " A high pitched beeping came from the headset. "Donnie? What's happening?" Lilith demanded. " _...We've got some serious issues._ " Lilith said cautiously, "What kind of issues? Donnie, talk to me! Come _on,_ I can't see what's happening! Donnie, is everything okay?"

There was no repsonse except for a small crash and the high beeping getting louder. "Donnie! Talk to me!" When the only response was another small crash, she swore violently. "That's fucking it." She snarled. "Donnie, if nothing is wrong back there and you didn't reassure me, I'm gonna beat your green ass until you can't feel your shell and your skin is black and green!"

The speedometer of the bike climbed to one hundred.

*sits in corner tied up* *mumbles through gag*

Raph: Heh heh heh. Spidahs, huh?"

*shakes head like nope nope nope*

Raph: *leaves*

*mumbling through gag* translation: i tried. hope you enjoyed.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! SHOUT OUT TO MY DAD FOR NOT BEING A TOTAL PRICK! :D

BTW, I will be doing a FATHER'S DAY ONESHOT, probably titled something creative like FATHER'S DAY ONESHOT.

see you next time guys.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

to Lara annatia Mapella: yes she did. and he was none to happy about it. XD

and to the fabulous Princess Bunny~ I'm glad that you wont! X3 so hard to find loyal readers nowadays! and yeah the cockroach thing was kinda...yeeeeeah... let's just say that after my mom sold my stuffed one, i never thought i'd have a turtle in my bed again. i was wrong... so very wrong... also, the father's day special is up, and lilith was in it! so if you wanna read that, go nuts. it's called "Father's Day Special!"

...I'm so good at names...*sarcasm*

Raph: not scared of daddy longlegs cause they eat othah spidahs, eh? *eyes glint*

oh no. Raph, don't you dare. nooooo raph NO! STOP! DON'T ah fuck.

Raph: *has giant plastic tank filled with turantulas* so do these.

fuck. ...OH MY GOD RAPH COCKROACH!

Raph: WHERE?! *dashes over and hugs me while looking around frantically*

*rolls eyes and grabs turantulas before walking away*

AAAAANNYYYYYWAAAAAAY.

Now sit back and relax because it is storytime motherfuckers.

Lilith screeched to a halt in the garage before racing into the lair, weapon at her side and ready. Splinter and Leo were crowded outside of Donnie's lab, demanding to know what was wrong. Leo was holding and rocking a sleeping Mikey. Lilith darted up, throwing her helmet on the couch. "Guys, what the hell is happening?!" Leo looked at her and said, "We heard a crash and Donnie won't open his door."

Lilith pressed her ear against the door. The high pitched beeping was still going, along with a light hissing sound. "Back up, guys! There's some sort of gas leak on the other side."

" _Yeah, please stay back!_ " Donnie's shrill voice came from the other side. Leo yelled, "Is Raph okay?!" Donnie replied, " _Yeah, he's fine, I got a breathing mask on him! I just need to figure out what this-Oh you_ have _to be kidding me!_ " Donnie yanked open the door. "False a-freaking-larm. It's water vapor. Steam. Slight traces of fluoride, but not a large amount."

Lilith walked in and found the leaking pipe. She pulled her gum and plugged the leak. Donnie blinked. "Ew!" he said. Lilith shrugged. "Primitive, but it stopped the leak." Soon, the vapor settled and everything was covered in a fine layer of mist. "What caused the leak do you think?" Lilith asked as she took a blowtorch to said leak. "I'm not sure. And how do you know how to work that thing?" Donnie asked.

"My dad." Lilith said simply. "But that's not important. Leaks like this don't usually happen, do they?" Donnie rolled his eyes as he checked over Raph. "No, they don't." Lilith shut off the blowtorch, looking at the hole. Donnie had closed off this particular pipe so that she could repair it, so no water was interfering except for the leftover droplets. "Donnie, look at this."

"What? The hole?" Donnie came over. "Yes, the hole." Lilith said drily. "Look at it. The edges are kind of melted from the torch but look. The water didn't bust out. The edges are curled _in._ " Donnie blinked. "You think someone did it on purpose?" Lilith glanced at him. "There's no one who would have had any _cause_ to do this, is there?" Donnie frowned. "No. Unless one of the bad guys busted in here and... But I was in here the whole..."

Donnie's eyes widened in realization. "No, I wasn't in here the whole time! When you were in the building, after I cut the lights, I left the room to talk with Leo and Splinter!" Lilith froze. "You think someone broke in and came in here while you were gone?" Donnie looked at her seriously. "It's a possibility." Lilith scowled. "But why would someone want to break into..." Her eyes widened.

"Whoever broke in knew Raph was in here!" she gasped.

" _What?_ That's crazy! One, how could someone could break in here without setting off Donnie's alarms, and two, how would someone know where Raph was if that was why they broke in, _if_ they got in undetected?" Leo shouted. Splinter patted his oldest son's shoulder. Lilith rubbed her face. She heard Mikey squealing in the lab, where Donnie had taken him.

"I don't _know,_ that's the thing! I'm just guessing here, but I think that whoever broke in has either been spying and saw where we took Raph when we brought him back here, or they saw Raph when Donnie opened the door to go talk to you guys.

"Then, when Donnie left the room, they slipped in and went to do something, be it kill Raph or something else, but Donnie came back before they could accomplish their objective. Since they didn't want to get caught, they busted the pipe, hid, then left while Donnie was distracted. I'm only guessing, but I bet that that's what happened, or at least something similar. I'd bet a date with Colin Farrell on it."

"He's funny." Leo admitted.

"And not very attractive, so I can see why you'd bet a date with him on it." Donnie added from the other room.

"That's Will Ferrell. Colin's hot. And his name is spelled different." Lilith replied. "Anyway, if someone can get into the lair and wants to kill Raph, we _can't_ leave the hothead alone."

"Hey guys! Come look at this!" Donnie yelled, popping out of his lab/the makeshift infirmary. Lilith, Splinter, and Leo exchanged a glance before walking to the infirmary. "What is- _oh my god._ " Lilith gaped. Leo choked, "Mikey?!" Mikey looked up from where he sat on the floor. But instead of being an infant, he now looked to be about three years old. "Weo! Weo pway? An' who's da pwetty wady? Is that Waphie's giwlfwen'?"

"Did you make him say that? ...Wait a minute! He got older!" Lilith gasped. "Thanks for that, Captain Obvious." Leo sighed. "You're welcome, Sergeant Sarcasm." Lilith replied cheerfully. "...I just can't win with you, can I?" Leo asked. Lilith shook her head. "Nope." Mikey stood up and looked at Lilith. "Awe you Waphie's giwlfwen'?" he repeated his question.

"No, I'm not, Mikey." Lilith said. "You shud be. You get mad wike Waphie!" Lilith blinked. She looked up. "Leo, has he seen me angry since he became a child?" Leo paused. "Um... There was that one time. Your toast got burnt and-"

"Pwetty wady fwew a toastow!" Mikey laughed. Donnie blinked. "I see! He's retaining everything he's learned and seen since he got like this! That means that when he becomes normal again, he'll remember everything that happened. He remembers that Raph is angry a lot, so he must be regaining the memories he already had when he hits each age." Lilith looked at him. "So he _will_ become the teenage Mikey again?"

"Eventually. I hope so, anyway." Mikey grabbed Lilith's hand. "What's youw name, pwetty wady? I'm Mikey!" Lilith smiled at him. "I'm Lilith." She said. _He's so fucking cute._ She mentally squealed before shutting the girly voice in her head away. Mikey tried, "Wiwif?" Lilith choked slightly and whispered to Leo. "I can't take this. He's so fucking cute."

Mikey looked up at her with round blue eyes. "Can I caw you Wiwy?" Lilith managed, "Sure Mikey, you can call me Lily." Donnie rolled his eyes. "Kids. Anywa-" Suddenly, a loud _beeeeeeee-_ interrupted him. Lilith whipped around. "Donnie, the heart monitor!" She yelped. Leo yelled, "He's flatlining! Donnie, do something!"

"Everybody out!" Donnie shouted. "Even you, Sensei!"

Lilith ignored him and had darted over to the machines. "Donnie, the water! It fried the life support!" She yelped. "Splinter! Leo! Get Mikey out of here and find dry towels! I might be able to fix the life support!" Donnie protested, "I could probably do it faster!" Lilith nodded. "Then do it. If Donnie fails, we're going to need new machines. I have some at my house, but-"

"Why do you keep life support machines at your _house?_ " Leo asked, suddenly curious. "Leo! I get that you're still only a teenager, but focus! If you must know my dad became a doctor when he got out of the army!"

"Your dad did everything, didn't he?"

"Pfft, he tried, can we _focus?!_ " Leo shook his head. "Sorry!" Donnie had already pulled out the defibrillators. "I'll try to get his heart working before I do anything with the machine." He slid Raph's breathing mask off and replaced it with one connected to an oxygen canister before charging the paddles. Lilith slid her headset out of her shell cell. "I'll be in touch. Let me know about _any_ changes."

"I fought Weo was da weadow. Why's Wiwy being so bossy?"

"Clear!" Donnie shouted before zapping his brother. He turned up the voltage.

Leo straightened. "I'm going with you. If this really was a plot to kill Raph, then whoever it was will be waiting for you to find new equipment. They'll try to kill you first." Lilith nodded. "Fine. Splint-" She took a breath. The last time she and Splinter had argued, Raph had gotten hurt and Mikey transformed. Best to avoid fighting in case of deja vu. Thus, politeness towards her old friend.

" _Master_ Splinter, will you stay here and help Donnie with Mikey? He's going to need it, without the necessary equipment." Splinter nodded. "Yes. I will." Lilith nodded. "Thank you." She turned around. "Come on Leo. When we get in my truck, grab me my sunglasses from my dash."

" _Clear!_ " Donnie shouted for the seventh time. "We have a heartbeat, guys! Hurry up and get that equipment!" Lilith nodded. "Sunglasses? It's midnight!" Leo said. Lilith glanced at him as she ran towards the garage, Leo on her heels. "Night vision. I can kill the lights and whatever cop looks at his radar thinks he clocked a UFO." Leo paused as they climbed in and he handed her the "sunglasses".

"How fast does this truck go?"

"Dunno."

"...Greater than or less than the one-forty on your speedometer?"

"Waaaaaaaay greater than. My friend modified the accelerator for me. Buckle your seatbelt. We're going to be speeding. A lot."

Slowly, Leo buckled his seatbelt and grabbed the handle above his head, gripping that and the armrest so hard that his knuckles became a paler green. Lilith just smirked. "When I find who did this to your brother and my friend, Leo..." She started with a feral growl.

"I'll let you beat their ass first, but I'm going to fucking kill them."

...

...

...

hey...

guess what...

...

*whispers*

guess.

...

...

...

... _double update._

*gasp*


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Double. Fucking. Update.

It's time for storytime motherfuckers.

Leo froze. "Kill them literally or figuratively?" he asked, knowing that Lilith had a small tendency to say things in a more viscious way than it seemed. Lilith frowned as she pulled out of the garage. "Honestly? That depends on how bad you guys rough him up. I'm not sure what kind of punishment I'd want to dish out. We can't go to the cops and tell them that he attempted to murder a bedridden mutant turtle. You'd get shipped off to a lab and I'd be questioned for what I know.

"But I don't know. I suppose we'll see." Leo was less than happy with that answer, but then Lilith turned off the headlights, put on her sunglasses, and floored the accelerator.

Leo screamed as the truck when from five to a hundred and five in the same amount of time it took him to break a wooden plank.

So about half a second.

Leo gripped the armrest as tight as he could. "So." he said tightly, sounding as though he had just been kicked in the balls. _Do mutant turtles even have balls?_ Lilith killed her line of thought right there. _SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN._ She thought. Leo continued, "How long will it take to get to your place going this speed?"

"Two minutes." Lilith replied, whipping around a corner. Her speedometer continued to go up. Leo had counted three times it had passed one twenty, so he looked away. "That's helpful." Leo managed.

" _Lilith, can you hear me?_ " Lilith blinked and touched her headpiece. "Loud and clear, Splinter. Is something wrong?" Leo looked at her with wide, terrified eyes. " _Nothing that you don't already know about._ " Splinter sighed. " _Donatello has managed to get a steady heartbeat from Raphael, but he is uncertain how long Raphael will be able to survive without that life support._ "

"Hopefully, he won't have to be without it very long. Leo and I are halfway to my house. I'm not sure if we were followed or if there's an ambush waiting, but we're prepared for anything." Lilith replied. " _I believe you, Lilith. I hope to see you soon. Preferably_ very _soon._ " Lilith nodded. "You will, Splinter. I've got to go. We're here." Lilith slowed down and parked.

She and Leo exchanged a glance before climbing out of the car, Lilith grabbing her black bag and drawing her kusarigama. They approached the front door carefully. Lilith tested the door to find that is was locked, just as it had been when she came back to collect some things while staying with the turtles and Splinter. She swiftly unlocked the door, careful to not let the other keys on her keyring hit the door, before slipping inside.

She walked into her dad's old room, glancing around to make sure she was alone. "I wish I had nightvision sunglasses." Leo muttered. "You say that until you switch your nightvision with your regular sunglasses on accident." Leo cringed. "Ouch." Lilith nodded. "I was temporarily blinded. Couldn't see for months. I even got a seeing eye dog because they didn't think I'd get my sight back. Beautiful red Siberian Husky."

Lilith opened the closet and opened a small compartment in the floor. "When my sight came back, his got bad. He couldn't be a guide dog anymore, so the people who gave him to me told me to keep him. When I went to Alaska, he stayed with my uncle in Missouri. But my uncle called me last week and told me that he'd died from a stroke. We're having a funeral this weekend." She said. "That's depressing." Leo managed. Lilith didn't answer as she carefully retrieved several machines.

"You drop these, you're not the only one who's dead." Lilith said seriously before grabbing a couple stands and shutting the closet.

When they left, it was like no one had been there in the first place.

Lilith turned into the garage just as Donnie contacted her. " _Guys, where are you?!_ " the genius demanded. Lilith climbed out. "We're here now. What happened? Did Raph get worse?" Donnie sighed on the other end. " _Thank goodness. No, he's still the same, but the life support was sabotaged. I can't fix it. It's amazing that Raph held on as long as he did without it._ "

"How long was it broken?" Lilith said as she handed the stands to Leo, then grabbed machines from the back. " _How would I know that? It doesn't exactly have a timer._ " Lilith shrugged. "'Ey, don't sue me cause I'm a cutie."

Leo choked on air and tripped, coughing. " _That didn't even_ rhyme!" Donnie protested. "Yeah, that sounded pretty fucking stupid."

" _Donnie, what does fucking mean?_ " Lilith heard Mikey ask. " _It's an adult word, never say it again._ " There was a gasp. " _Wiwy is an adowt? I fought she was as young as you and Waph and Weo!_ " Donnie laughed. " _No, Lilith is nineteen. Me, Raph, and Leo are only sixteen._ " Lilith and Leo walked into the lair. They hurried to Donnie's lab before helping him set up the equipment.

Donnie sighed in relief as the last tube was set. "Thank goodness. I was genuinely afraid that you would be too late." Leo snorted. "With how fast her _truck_ goes, she shouldn't ever be late. _I_ genuinely thought that she was going to _kill_ me!"

"But I didn't!" Leo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we've heard that about three times now." Lilith said, "Because I _didn't!_ " Leo rolled his eyes. "I'm going to bed. I just had like three hundred doses of adrenaline. One for each mile per hour we went over the speed limit." Lilith shrugged. "Donnie, you should go to sleep. I don't even think I could at the moment, and we can't leave Raph alone."

"What about Mikey?" Lilith shrugged. "He can sleep on the spare cot in here. If something happens, he knows where your rooms are." Donnie sighed. Splinter chose that moment to enter. "Go, my son. I trust that our friend can do just as good a job as you at babysitting a tired turtle and an unconscious one." Donnie obeyed, but complained the whole way to his room.

Splinter sat down as Lilith heaved a sigh. "No matter how fast my truck actually went, I was terrified that I _wouldn't_ be fast enough. So many things could have happened. Car wrecks, cops, flat tire, gas leak, broken machines... I was actually pretty terrified." Splinter patted his friend on the back. "And yet, nothing went wrong. That is something to be thankful for. You have saved my son-all of my sons-multiple times now. I cannot repay that debt."

"I would never ask you to, Splinter." Lilith replied. "I only did the right thing." Splinter shrugged. "Many people would say the right thing would have been to simply turn us over to some government branch. And yet, you did not, because your views of right and wrong are different from theirs." Lilith stated, "And because those guys are total pricks." Splinter chuckled, rolling his eyes at Lilith's foul language.

"Perhaps so, but I'm sure their opinions would be very different from yours. Lilith, because of you, I was saved from the bite I took from the dog, allowing me to be in a good enough condition to save my sons and eventually mutate into the old rat you see now. Then, you led away the Dragons, despite your young age and depite me being a mutant rat.

"Because of that, I was able to raise my sons as fine warriors, thus allowing them to find you. And, because they found you, you were able to save them yet again in the warehouse."

"Like I knew what I was doing! Most of the time I was just winging it, and the rest I improvised. I just did whatever I felt was the right action at the moment. I didn't think, I reacted!" Lilith protested. Splinter's whiskers twitched, amused. "And that is what a good warrior does. Thinking too hard upon what can happen and all of the things that could go wrong causes hesitation. A good warrior does not hesitate."

Lilith shrugged. "I'm less of a warrior and more of a soldier. Most of the training I have I got from my dad, and the martial art I got from you. My dad taught me to be a soldier, and you taught me to fight with honor. But at the end of the day, I'm just one person in a war larger than I am. If I were to die tomorrow, you all would probably be just fine without me. If I don't, then I don't."

"Yet imagine what could have happened if you had died the day that Purple Dragon had shot you." Lilith touched the place where the scar from the bullet wound hid beneath her clothing. "You guys would have been _so_ fucked. But if I had, Raph wouldn't-" Splinter covered her mouth. "You're thinking about the possibilities again instead of reacting."

Lilith took a breath. "You're right. Thanks, Splinter." Splinter pouted. _Pouted._ "Hmph. I kind of liked it when you added "Master" to the front." he teased. Lilith laughed and pulled a squirt bottle out of her bag. She sprayed Splinter with it. "Get out of here, _Sensei._ " she joked. " _Hoooh!_ " Splinter gasped, darrting for the door. "Cold! Cold!" he yelped, fleeing.

Lilith laughed and put the bottle away. Splinter walked back in and cleared his throat. "On a more serious note..." He walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "I do not blame you for what happened to Raphael. Nor do any of my other sons. Even if we did, you almost killed yourself trying to give him the blood he needed to survive. You have repaid any fault you have commited."

"...Thank you, Master Splinter." Lilith finally said. The rat smiled and left again. Now alone except for two turtles who were both out colder than the water in the bottle, Lilith sighed again, leaning back in her chair. She glanced at Raph. "You still look like hell, even though that fight was about two months ago now. ...You know what, I'll rant to you tomorrow, so just be ready and don't scare us again." She smirked.

"Cause if you do, I'll beat your ass myself." With that, she settled back to keep vigil.

You guys love me. I give you double and early updates sometimes. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **We're getting closer to the end guys (i think idk)! Who tried to cut Raph's life support? When will Mikey get his own age back?** _ **will there be a sequel to this piece of shit?**_ **so many questions you may not have, and** _ **MOST**_ **of the answers will be provided. ...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...eventually.**

 **Anyway, I totally lost my teenage mutant ninja turtles wallet in a buffalo wild wings. Not only did it have my student ID WITH MY PICTURE ON IT in it, it had $10, a card worth $20, several fully punched punch cards, a discount card I paid like $10 for, and several notes from my best friend, as well as the code to read them. So I'm out about $40+ and a fricking sentimental thing. Not only that, but if someone steals it, they have my fucking name, school, and photograph, and they can basically do whatever the fuck they want with that info.**

 ***sigh* i'm done with this bullshit. Anyway, I needed a distraction, so double update. yay. *sigh***

 **Raph: damn. that bombs.**

 **You fucking think?**

 **Raph: ...*backs away slowly***

 **Also, I won't be able to update tomorrow, because I am driving from Michigan to Illinois. I will be in a car for six hours. Ulgh. Anywhooooo so now you get a double update AND an early one! whoop whoop!**

 **Now, let's go, cause it's storytime motherfuckers.**

 _Ugh. What the hell is that noise? Beeping? Who fuckin' knows. Why am I so tired? How long've I been asleep for? Wait, someone's talkin'. I hear Don. Did he say breakfast? That sounds great. And... Is that Leo? And Lilith? Jesus, how long have I been out? Leo ain't bitin' at Lils's throat yet? I can't tell if they're bein' civil or not. Eh. Whateva'. Hopefully I wake up soo- Hold on a sec. I can't quite hear... Wait, is she_ laughing? _Ah, hell, did they get together while I was out? Fuuuuuuuck... Wait, I think she's talkin' to_ me _now! I can kinda make it out..._

*five minutes earlier*

"Hey, you're still awake." Leo said as he walked in. Donnie finished drawing blood from her arm. "Yeah, I'm awake." Lilith sat up and her back cracked multiple times. Leo and Donnie both cringed. " _Ooooh, sssss!_ "

"Ouch!"

Lilith looked at them. "What?" They just shook their heads. Donnie left, mentioning something about getting breakfast. Lilith stretched and Leo said, albeit slightly awkwardly, "Thank you." Lilith paused, arms in the air, and blinked before lowering her arms and looking at the oldest turtle. "What do you mean?" Leo shifted. "First, I want to apologize. I wasn't exactly fair to you after you came back from Alaska, and I didn't give you the trust you deserved for saving our lives."

"Leo, you don't have to apologize. For all you know, I could have-"

"No. I... I have to say this. Splinter trusted you, and that should have been enough for me, but it wasn't. Even though you'd saved mine and my brothers's lives, I didn't trust you, and I snapped at you unfairly. I'm going to admit, when we stayed at your house that night, I still didn't trust you. I woke at every tiny noise expecting you to be in the room with those daggers at my throat.

"And when you _did_ come in and said that there was someone in your garage, I thought it was a trap. When me and Raph were kidnapped, I honestly thought that you had set us up, even though you had saved my shell multiple times in there. Then you showed up with my brothers and weren't attacked, and I thought you had them in some sort of mind controlled state. And then you begged me to trust you so you could check Raph.

"I think that was when I became less suspicious of you, when you said that Raph was dead. You looked genuinely angry. And after that, when we got in the truck and you told Donnie to fry the gadgets before saying that Raph was still alive... My heart stopped. And when Raph woke up, you seemed truly happy. And then... And then you gave him your blood. Not just a little, but _gallons_ of it. You save my little brother's life, Lilith. You saved his life."

Lilith grinned slightly. "Not only that, but you insisted on giving more, even when you knew it could kill you. I'm grateful for that. And I'd like a chance to start clean with you and be friends instead me being suspicious of your every motive." Lilith grinned. "I dunno, it's gonna take more than that for me to forgive you..." Leo sighed. "I figured as much. I wasn't exactly Mr. Nice Guy."

"Leo, I'm kidding. You didn't have to apologize." Leo blinked as Lilith started laughing. "You're an idiot, Leo. There's nothing to forgive. You wanted to protect your brothers. As far as I'm concerned, I can deal with a little abuse if that's the case." Leo blinked. "Wow. Okay, then." Lilith snorted. "Go eat something, Leo. Then _you're_ taking over babysitting duty. Besides, it'll give me time to give Raph hell one more time before I go pass the fuck out."

Leo snorted, then left. When he was gone, Lilith bit her lip as she looked at the injured turtle on the cot. "Hey, Raph. You _still_ look like you got the hell beat out of you. It's rant time, so brace yourself. We've all been waiting for you. Even Leo's worried as fuck, though he tries to hide it." She sighed. "I, uh. I just wanted to say that you should hurry and wake up before somebody else tries to kill you. Again."

The woman scowled. "Hey. If you see a big white light, don't touch it. Whoever's there, tell them they can fuck right the hell off. Tell them to keep their damned light, cause you're not done yet Raphael. I don't know if it'll be God or your great granturtle! And honestly, I don't give a fuck. You tell them to shove their light down their own throats, because if they take you, _I'm_ coming to get you, and I'll do much worse than that. Tell them that Lilith Thompson isn't ready to let you go just yet. And tell them that she's pissed and ready to kick some mother _fucking_ spirit _ass_ if they so much as think about taking you the fuck away."

Lilith let out a breath and sat down next to Raph's bed. "Jesus..."

"Nah, wasn't Jesus." Raphael rasped. "I don't think so anyways. Either way I told 'im whatcha said." Lilith sprang up. "Raph! You're not dead! Holy fuck, this is great!" She hugged him. "Oof. Ow. Easy there. Yeah I'm not sure who the fucka' was, but I think he pissed 'imself." Lilith grinned. She whipped around and darted for the door. "Donnie! Donatello! Get your green ass in here, Raph's awake!"

She paused, recieving no response, then scowled. Raphael grinned as she growled and marched out the door. "Oh, hey Leo." He heard her say. "Raph's awake." Leo replied, "I heard, I was just on my way to see him. On your way to get Don?" Lilith's voice became dangerous. "You could say that." Leo laughed. "He's in the dojo. Don't hurt him too bad." Their friend's only reply was, "No promises."

Leo walked into the makeshift infirmary and grinned when he saw Raph sitting up. Leo helped his brother into a comfortable position, snickering as his brother's ass slid into the dip made for his shell. Leo let go and opened his mouth, but Raph shushed him. "Shhh...! I wanna hear this!" He said, green eyes bright with excitement. Leo paused and listened. They waited a moment, then a loud " _ **DONATELLO!**_ " echoed through the sewers. Raph snickered.

" _ **Donnie, get your ass off the floor! Didn't you hear me calling for you?! Get your motherfucking green ass off that floor and into the fucking infirmary!**_ " There was a loud crash. " _ **Don't you draw your bo on me I will beat the fuck out of you!**_ " Another crash. " _ **Oh, you wanna fight now?!**_ " Donnie's voice came, " _Why are you attacking me?! What did I do?!_ "

" _ **I fucking yelled for you and you ignored me! ...I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SPARRING WITH SPLINTER AND DIDN'T HEAR ME! EVEN IF YOU DON'T HEAR ME, YOU STILL GET YOUR BITCH-ASS OVER THERE AND FIND OUT WHAT I WANT! No, don't even question my logic, Donatello! My logic is perfectly sound! I call, you come, even if you don't hear me!**_ "

There was a bang and the next thing the two older turtles knew, their second-youngest brother was being dragged in by his shell and bandana tails, being forced to walk backwards as Lilith relentlessly tossed him inside. "Take care of Raph. I have to go keep Mikey from thinking that I killed you. Makin' me scare him like that..." Lilith went to check on the child version of her friend.

Donnie whimpered. "Mommy."

"We don't have a mommy." Raph said, arching an eye ridge. Donnie blinked and turned. "Raph! You're alright!" Leo snickered. "That's why Lilith brought you in here. She wants you to check on this hothead."

"Watch it, Fearless."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "Awake for five minutes and already at it with Leo. Shocker." Donnie started examining Raph. Just as he finished, Lilith sprinted in and hid. "What are you-?"

"Shhhhh!" Lilith interrupted Raph with wide eyes. "Don't tell him where I am and for god's sake DON'T LOOK INTO HIS EYES." She hid again. Donnie and Raph turned to the door to find Mikey standing there with wide eyes. Raph instantly dropped his gaze to the floor. _When the fuck did the baby turtle get here?!_ he wondered. Donatello wasn't as quick. "Whewe Wiwy go?" Mikey asked, leaning towards Donnie.

"Did she come in hewe?" Donnie choked. "She's behind my desk!'

"Donnie!" Lilith cried. Mikey dashed over. "Wiwy take a baff wiff me! Pweeeeeeeease!?" Lilith was forcibly dragged from the room, Mikey yelling, "Baff! Baff!" as Lilith stared at Raph and pleaded for help with her eyes. " _Raph, help meeeee!_ " she mouthed. Then she was gone. Raph laughed and removed the tubes and wires from himself as he got to his feet, clutching his chest. Donnie tried to grab him.

"Raph, no! You have severe head injuries and an infected wound on your chest! You're in no condition to-" Donnie broke off. "Oh no. Noooo. Raph! No! Get that look off your face!" Donnie took a step back. That face. The face Raph had always pulled when they were kids and Raph accidentally broke something in Donnie's lab. Raph's eyes would get wide, his head would pull slightly into his shell, and his jaw would start to quiver.

Raph was making that face now, the face that had earned him many let-offs from Donnie. Donnie found his eyes trapped by his brother's. "Ugh! Fine! Go! Ugh..." Donnie relented. Raph grinned and immediately became the cocky bastard Donnie knew and loved. "Haha. I still got it." With that, he limped away from Donnie to go and rescue his friend.

And regretted it because as soon as he lumbered into the bathroom, he saw Lilith with nothing but a soaked towel covering her from chest to knees. She was sitting sideways in the tub, facing Raphael, with Michelangelo squealing next to her, excited. Lilith scowled as Raph limped in, pulling the towel up to cover her neck. "You're some help." she muttered.

Raph laughed. "So who's the kid?"

"It's Mikey. A lot has happened while you've been in a coma. Mikey got turned into a kid, somebody tried to kill you, Leo stopped being a prick, oh, and I gave you several gallons of blood over the past year." Lilith grinned mentally. _Reveeeeeeeenge._ " _ **YEAR?! A YEAR!? I'VE BEEN OUT FOR A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR?!**_ " Lilith rolled her eyes. "No, dumbass. If you had, your muscles would be so damn weak you couldn't stand. You've been out two months."

Mikey yelled, " _Waph! Fucking is an adult wowd! You don't say fucking! Do you hewe me Waph?! You don't say fucking!_ " Lilith clapped a hand over her mouth and gave a strangled gasp. "Oh my God!" She said. Splinter walked in. "MichelangelOH MY GOD!" Splinter covered his eyes. "Lilith, what on Earth are you doing?!" Lilith just blinked.

"I got dragged into a bathroom by a three year old, had my clothes ripped off, then was forced into a bathtub. I managed to grab a towel, though, so that's a major plus, I'd say." Raph just shrugged. "Glad to see nothin's changed since I went coma-ridden."

"Comatose."

"Whateva'."

"... _ **RAPHAEL! YOU'RE AWAKE!**_ " Splinter hugged him tightly.

"Ack! Feelin' the love, even if I can't feel air in my lungs!" Raph choked. Lilith just grinned.

 **Raph: *reading reviews* hmph. I can say it angrily. stupid motherfucking bubbles.**

 **Raph what the fuck do you think you're doing? Why the fuck are you talking about** _ **bubbles?!**_ **I'm out forty fucking bucks, a ninja turtle wallet from my best friend, and my fucking picture could be in the hands of some freako who's currently jacking off to it! And you're talking about** _ **bubbles?!**_ **Fuck you, Raph!**

 **Raph: Hey, wait-!**

 ***storms off***

 **Raph: ...*sighs* fuck.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N sooo... bad news guys. writers block. you know what that means? different story arc time! updates will continue to be on fridays!**

 **It's storytime motherfuckers.**

Lilith finished drying her hair before glancing at her watch. Two days had passed since Raphael had woken up, and she had an appointment to get to. "I'll be back in a little while." She called. "Whewe you goin'?" Mikey asked, running up to her. "Can I come wiff you?" Lilith patted his head. "Not this time, buddy." Mikey pouted and returned to watching TV with Leo.

As Lilith left, Raph sat up, stumbling slightly. "Ugh. This whole muscle degeneration thing that ya was talkin' about is total bullshit." He said to Donnie as his purple-banded brother fawned over him, checking his blood pressure and such. "It's making mah blood boil to not be able ta move around without gettin' tyahd." Donnie rolled his eyes. "With how bad _you_ were, you're lucky you have blood _to_ boil."

"Whaddya mean?" Raph asked. Donnie paused. "Oh, yeah, you were too busy being in a coma. The way you act it's like you were always here." Raph scowled. "Oh, I'm just kidding! Anyway, you had severe blood loss when we got to you and Leo. Then your body was having trouble making red blood cells because of the infection in your wound. We had to take blood from a donor."

"I thought you said that I was the only one with- Hold up, you went to the surface and stole blood?" Raph demanded. Donnie shook his head. "Yes, no one else in our family has O Negative, but no, we didn't go to the surface. Lilith donated hers." Raph blinked. "She has the same typa blood as me?" Donnie nodded. "Surprised the heck out of _us,_ too. But once we gave it to you, your body mutated it to match yours."

"Then it looks like ah owe 'er a thanks."

"Pfft. More than that. If she didn't have a spare life support at her house, you'd be dead. So she saved you twice." Raph shifted. "Why hasn't anyone said anything ta me about it?" Donnie looked at him. "Raph. You almost died. Nobody's going to want to talk about it for a while, and they're not sure if _you_ want to either. I don't think you realize how close you were to-"

Donnie broke off and shook his head. Raph looked at the floor. "I do know, bro. I'm not sure where I was but... It was whack. I was trapped in this weird mass of thorny vines, and wheneva I tried ta get out, I'd just about get impaled by fuckin' thorns that were suddenly huge. Then, next thing I knew, I heard you, Leo, and Lils talkin'. Then there was this guy... I think he was Yoshi. Y'know, Masta Splinta's...whateva b'fore 'e came here.

"Then Yoshi got all quiet, I can't even remembah what 'e was sayin' in the firs' place, and I heard Lils talkin'. She said a few violent thing and then Yoshi got real pale. 'E told me I should prob'ly get back b'fore Lils killed us. Then I woke up." Donnie looked at him thoughtfully. "You may have been temporarily trapped in the spirit world, like Leo was when he got his shell kicked by the Shredder."

"Maybe." Raph said, shrugging. "Where'd Lils go, anyways?" Donnie shrugged. "Not sure. She said something about a tattoo parlor yesterday, but I wasn't paying attention." Raph blinked. "Lilith? Getting tattoos? I can't wait to see what she gets. I'd bet a dog or something." Donnie looked at him. "I dunno, I think she'd go for something a little more subtle. Maybe a tattood bracelet."

"Maybe. Who knows wit her?" Donnie snickered. "You didn't hear this from me, but she was really worried about you, Raphie-boy. She tried not to show it, but everyone could tell. She just about killed herself trying to make me take more and more blood from her, even when I explained why it was a bad idea to give any more at one time."

"That so?" Raph mumbled thoughtfully. His heart skipped a beat at the thought. He paused. "Hey, did she and Leo hook up or somethin'? They ain't been gettin' at each other's throats recently." Donnie laughed. "Have they-Is _that_ what you think?! Ha! No, Leo recognized that she's only been trying to help and requested to start over." Raph nodded, slightly relieved. _What the fuck? Why am I relieved?! It's not like_ I _want to-_

He decided to stop thinking for a while.

"Remember, loose clothing and _no bras!_ " Lilith's friend called as she walked outside, into the cold night. "I won't touch up that thing if you fuck it up because you were being stupid!" Lilith rolled her eyes as she moved her bag to her other hand. "Oh my god, Matt! I get it! I won't scratch your baby!" The two shared a laugh before Lilith walked away, headed for her truck. When she got in, she paused, then twisted around to look in the back seat, flicking on the overhead light as she did so.

Leo attempted to hide behind her seat, but failed miserably. "Dude. I thought you were supposed to be a ninja."

"I got _in_ easily enough, didn't I?"

"Yet you couldn't remain undetected."

"..." Leo pouted. Lilith just laughed. "So what's up?" She asked as she flicked on her headlights and started driving. "You didn't just come to see my fabulous as fuck face." Leo shrugged. "I wanted to see your tattoo. My curiosity got the best of me."

"Pfft. You couldn't have waited?"

"Raph being bedridden has turned _me_ into the impatient one."

"Fair enough." Lilith turned onto a different street. "Unfortunately, you'll have to wait just like the others. I'm driving." Leo groaned. "Damn." he mumbled. Lilith laughed. "And you thought that you could-" Her phone going off on the dashboard cut her off. "Hello?" She answered. "No, I just got done getting a-" She froze. "Okay! I'm on my way."

She hung up and glanced at Leo. "You feel like helping me out?" She asked, reaching under her seat. "What with?" Leo questioned. Lilith stated, "There's a gang of Purple Dragons giving the cops a hard time. Three civilians dead. They're holed up in an abandoned hotel building downtown and they have hostages." Leo blinked. "Hold on. You're a cop?"

"Yep."

"Since when?"

"Last year."

"But you're only nineteen!"

"Twenty. And I graduated high school at seventeen and got a law enforcement degree."

"Since when?! And within two years?!"

"Since three days ago and yes."

"...Impressive." Leo admitted. Lilith nodded."I like to think so. Anyway, the cops can't get into the building, but they don't want to call in the SWAT team for a bunch of petty drug dealers. They want me to help take them out. Feel like being helpful?"

"If it means kicking Purple Dragon ass? Hell yeah." Lilith paused before pulling over and twisting around in her seat. "...Raph being down for the count really _has_ turned you into a clone of him." She shook her head and drove on while Leo just pouted. Soon, Lilith pulled up behind the building. "Get out of the car for a sec and hide." Leo blinked. "Why?"

"I need to change clothes."

"Oh." Leo climbed out and Lilith hopped into the back. Leo ignored the hormones screaming at him to look inside the truck and instead ducked under it. Two minutes later, Lilith climbed out wearing all black clothes. A black bulletproof vest was strapped on over a black long sleeve shirt. She shouldered her black bookbag, then grabbed a walky talky from her belt and turned it on, going through the channels.

"I'm here." She finally said. "What do you want me to do?" A voice came, " _Sneak inside through the back. Try not to get spotted so that you can get the jump on 'em. Should be easy considering how dark it is, but they have lights on in the main lobby. Remember, your objective is to rescue the civilians, then take the baddies alive, preferably. Only kill them if absolutely necessary_." Lilith rolled her eyes. "C'mon, when have I ever killed somebody when it was a rescue and capture mission?"

" _...Just take them alive. Civilians are our top priority. If some of the bad guys escape but the hostages stay alive, this mission will still be a success. Over and out_." Lilith rolled her eyes, then shivered as a cold gust of wind cut through her shirt. "C'mon, Leo." she said, turing off the volume on her walky talky and clipping it to her belt. She pulled on a black ski mask and put a pistol in the holster on her hip before shutting the door and heading for the back of the building.

She moved towards a sliding glass door and attempted to open it. It slid open soundlessly, but boards blocked her path. She rolled her eyes. Whoever had boarded the door had left a giant hole in the bottom. She peered inside to find that there was no one there. With a grin, she slipped inside before removing more boards so that Leo could get in, which he did easily.

"I swear, those cops are stupid. If I could find this, why couldn't they?" She mumbled as she glanced around the hotel room. She hurried to the door and stepped into the hallway. A quick glance around showed that it was empty. Fortunately, there was a map right outside the door. "Okay. Two lefts and a right, and I'm at the lobby." She jogged down the hallway, Leo right behind her.

Without warning, Lilith grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side just before they rounded the corner. Leo cocked his head at her and she mouthed the word, " _goon_ ". She peered around the corner, then slid her pistol from her holster. She grabbed it by the barrel, confusing Leo. He understood a moment later when a large man rounded the corner, only to have the butt of a pistol collide with his temple.

Lilith, with much difficulty, caught the man and slid him soundlessly to the ground. She pulled off her bag before pulling out some rope and hogtying him. She gagged him for good measure.

Leo peered around the corner as Lilith pulled the man into an open closet. "All clear!" he hissed as she finished. The turtle and the woman darted down the hallway. When they reached the lobby, they were shocked to find their path blocked by a pile of furniture, stacked straight to the ceiling. Voices came from the other side. Lilith scaled the wall of beds and lamps and beered through a gap between an armchair and a table.

"What are we gunna do, boss?!" wailed a skinny guy with a tattoo of a purple dragon curled around his neck. A larger man wearing a torn black shirt snapped, "Shut da hell up, John. We gunna get outta he'e, but we needa finda way out tha's not on da surface, ya feel me? We surrounded bah da police and they probably got da SWAT team on da way. But as long as dey dunno dat ah only hostage is dis puppy raht he'e..."

They man picked the poor dog up by its scruff and jerked it around, making it yelp and scream, almost sounding human. Lilith gave a sharp intake of breath as she watched the tiny German Shepherd pup get dropped on the floor and kicked away. Leo, who had climbed up next to her, clenched his teeth. "As long as dey dunno dat, we Gucci, ya hea'?"

Lilith clenched her teeth, then turned around. "The air vents." She hissed. Leo looked. "I can't fit through those." he said. Lilith told him, "But I can. Here's the plan. I'll slip through the vents, and when you see me punch that asshole in the face, push this shit over and come kick ass. If you push that lamp-" She pointed. "-the whole thing will fall down. By the way, don't let them kill the dog."

Leo nodded. "Good luck." he said as she entered the vent. "You too." was her only reply before she was gone. Leo peered through the gap. A minute later, he saw Lilith silently pop the grate off of a vent on the other side of the room. She quietly slipped inside. Leo watched as she stood up, glanced around the room, and looked to Leo before holding up five fingers. Leo gave her a thumbs up. _Five bad guys? Six counting the one Lilith took out? Pfft. These cops are amateurs._

"Hey asshole!" Lilith shouted as she marched up to the large guy in the middle of the room. He gaped. "Where the hell did you-" Lilith cut him off as she clocked him in the jaw before whipping out her pistol, flicking the safety off, and shooting him in the leg. She smirked and put away the gun. " _Oh fuck! This bitch is crazy!_ " The boss yelled. "Get her!" Leo pushed the lamp and, sure enough, everything fell.

"Stay down!" Lilith spat to the boss before grabbing his baseball bat. The goons, finally realizing that they were under attack, pulled their own weapons out. Two charged Lilith while the other two came at Leo. Lilith ducked a swing from a crowbar before swiping her bat under the legs of the one who had attacked her and knocking him down. She hit him over the head with her bat, dazing him.

The other came at her with a steel pipe. She ducked to the side as he swung, darting behind him and kicking him in the chest as he turned around. He clenched his teeth and pulled a shotgun from behind the receptionist's desk. Lilith swallowed. "Oh, _shit._ " she muttered.

Leo, on the other side of the room, deflected a bat with his katana before knocking a crowbar from the hand of the second goon. He kicked one PD into the other before sheathing his swords and knocking their heads together, rendering them both unconscious. Leo rolled his eyes and tied them together before turning to see Lilith held at gunpoint.

He moved to help her, only to pause as she said, "Hey, you forgot something." The goon looked confused. Lilith grinned and leaned to the side. "Just as I suspected." she said in a feral tone. "You left your safety on." The Purple Dragon's eyes widened and he hurried to rectify his mistake, but it was too late. Lilith darted forward and bashed him over the head with the bat, only to freeze as a flash went off a split second later.

The shotgun fell to the ground just as quickly as Lilith did. Leo shouted and darted towards her. "Lilith! Lilith, are you okay?!" _No she's not okay, she just got shot!_ Leo scolded himself. He lifted her into a sitting position and put a hand on her stomach, hoping to stop any bloodflow. Lilith coughed. "Leo, calm down, it's fine."

"Fine? _Fine?!_ You just got shot! You call that _fine?!_ " Leo shouted. Lilith slapped a hand over his mouth. "Leo. I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, remember?" Leo paused. "...Oh. Yeah." Lilith grunted as she hauled herself up. "Still gonna be a nice bruise, though." she added with a grin. She walked over to where she had last seen the German Shepherd.

"Do me a favor and hogtie those creeps, will you?" She called over her shoulder. She knelt down next to the table the puppy was now hiding under. "Hey, buddy." she cooed. "It's okay now, those pricks are gone, okay?" The puppy whined and pressed itself against the wall. "Hey now, it's okay. C'mere." She held her hand out. Leo called, "From how these guys were treating it, I wouldn't be surprised if it bit you."

Lilith ignored him. "Hey, it's alright!" she said as the puppy looked at her hand hesitantly. "C'mere, buddy. C'mon!" she insisted. The dog made a hesitant wiggle for her, as though it was doing an army crawl. "That's right, little guy. C'mere! Come to Lily now." The puppy army crawled over to her hand and carefully touched its nose to her finger, sniffing.

The puppy crawled over to where her face was pressed to the ground and sniffed before licking her nose. Lilith grinned, delighted, and sat up, carefully picking up the little German Shepherd. She looked at Leo. "Meet me in my truck, I'm gonna call these guys in." Leo finished dragging in the goon from the hallway and practically vanished. Lilith turned on her walky talky as she pulled off her ski mask.

"Chief, it's me. All six are here. There may be others in the hotel, but we have their boss. There were no hostages, just a malnourished puppy that they've probably been abusing."

" _So we can add animal abuse to the list of charges. It the puppy visibly injured?_ " Lilith checked him over. "No visible injuries, Sir, but I can feel its-" She paused. "I can feel _his_ ribs. He seems healthy enough, though. He can wag his tail."

" _Alright. We'll have someone check for a chip after we get these guys hauled off to prison._ " Lilith looked at the dog. "Sir, if there is no chip, or there is and he turns out to belong to one of these criminals, can I adopt him?" The chief sighed on the other end. "I can train him as a police dog." Lilith said temptingly, knowing that canine units on the force were getting short handed.

"... _Fine. If there's no chip or he belongs to one of these guys, you can keep him. Now get those doors open. We don't have time to send for a battering ram._ " Lilith grinned before using the crowbar to pry off the boards. Soon, the door was open and someone was ready to take the puppy. Lilith looked at the small German Shepherd and reluctantly handed him over.

The puppy yelped and whined, struggling in the grips of the man. The chief of police approached as the puppy struggled. "What's going on?" he demanded. The man struggling to hold on to the puppy stated, "I think he'd rather be with her than me!" The Shepherd literally leaped out of the man's arms. Lilith caught him before he fell to his doom and he licked her excitedly.

Lilith snickered. The chief rolled his eyes. "Lilith, just take the damn thing with you now and take it to a vet." Lilith saluted. "Yes, Sir!" she said sarcastically before turning around and walking towards her truck. The chief called, "You better train it _real_ good, Lilith!" Lilith waved as she walked off.

Leo blinked as he saw the puppy. "You're keeping it?" He asked as she placed the Shepherd in the passenger seat and buckled him in. Leo stared. "What the fuck."

"Don't question it Leo. Anyway, there's one stop to make before I can officially keep him."

"My name is Lilith Thompson. I found this puppy while I was on duty and I was hoping you'd scan him for a chip." Lilith said as she walked into the veterinary clinic/shelter. The receptionist blinked. "Uh, sure, Miss." he said. He reached to take the puppy, but the Shepherd whimpered and flinched away. Lilith blinked. "I don't think he likes guys." she said. "He reacted the same way when someone went to take him at the crime scene."

The vet, who had just walked in, sighed. "I wish I could say that this didn't happen a lot, but it does. Abused animals and all that. Go back with me and you can hold him while he's scanned." Lilith nodded and followed said vet to the back room. A few minutes later, the veterinarian said, "Nothing. No chip. He doesn't have any shots, either." Lilith smiled slightly.

"In that case, I'd like to adopt him." she stated.

Leo frowned as Lilith got in the car and once again buckled the Shepherd in. "That's weird, Lily." Lilith raised an eyebrow at him. "More or less weird than you suddenly calling me Lily?" Leo shrugged. "I dunno. Anyway, I take it all went well?" he said as she put a small kennel on the floor of the passenger side. Lilith grinned. "Yup. Henry Shepard is now my crime-fighting companion."

"One, why would you name a dog Henry, and two, why would you name a dog after its breed?!"

"One, Henry is an _awesome_ name, and two, I didn't. I named him after Commander Shepard. Y'know, like the Normandy? From Mass Effect!" Leo shook his head. Lilith rolled her eyes. "It's a video game. Anyway, don't question me, Leo, my logic is sound." She started driving. "Stop drinking so much Haterade." Leo looked confused. "Hatera-? Oh, I get it."

Lilith just shook her head.

 **...I apologize for nothing. Nothing, I say. Also, if you know what Mass Effect is, you are awesome. Anyway, Henry will be an amazing asset when he's older, won't he guys?**

 **Puppy fans: AWWWWW HE'S SO CUTE!**

 **Me: stfu and gtfo. anyway. peace.**

 **Edit: holy fuck. 3527 words. jesus.**


	14. Chapter 14

14

Oh my fuck.

I am _so_

sorry.

I totally forgot to update last Friday.

Raph: yeah, what da hell, I was sitting he'e fer hours waitin' for ya!

Fuck off raph! I was occupied!

Raph: what, roleplayin' stupidstuck with yer little online friends?

STFU! IT'S HOMESTUCK!

*******CENSORED*******

You probably know what time it is by now.

That's right.

It's fucking _storytime_ motherfuckers.

Lilith walked into the lair with Leo on her heels. Raph, Donnie, and Splinter sat up. Mikey was sleeping on the couch. Donnie darted up. "Lilith, what'd you get for a tattoo?" Raph called, "What took ya guys so long?" Splinter asked, "Where did you get the puppy?"

"I'll answer that one first." Lilith said. "Sorry Donnie." She summarized the night's events. "Hold on, you're a _cop?_ And you named a dog Henry?" Raph demanded. Lilith didn't bother answering that. "Anyway, as for my tattoo..." She pulled off the bulletproof vest before turning around and pulling up her shirt. Leo and Donnie grinned, Raphael started laughing, and Master Splinter's eyes lit up.

In the middle of Lilith's back, a rat made up of several tribal-looking black shapes sat proudly. Four tribal turtles, also made of shapes, though in different colors, faced the rat. Two sat above in Notheast and Northwest positions and two sat below in Southeast and Southwest positions. The turtle to the top right was dark blue, the turtle to the top left was a dull red, the bottom right was a faded orange, and the last turtle, the one in the bottom left, was purple.

"I think that Mikey would say somethin' along the linesa, "As of now, we are foreva immortalized on dis woman's back." Or somethin' stupid like that." Raph said, grinning. Lilith laughed. Splinter put a hand on her shoulder. "I am honored that you would have pictures representing us permanently inked into your skin." Leo nodded. "What Master Splinter said."

Donnie just nodded. Raph pouted. "I want a tattoo!" Splinter snorted. "I think not! You are only seventeen. No tattoo for you! Now, it grows late. Off to bed, my sons." The guys walked to their rooms, complaining the whole way. Lilith rolled her eyes. "You can head to bed Splinter. I'll put Mikey in his." Splinter bowed slightly. "Thank you, Lilith." he said before moving to his room.

Lilith carefully lifted Mikey into her arms. Henry trotted at her heels, whining slightly. She gave the puppy a light _sh!_ After laying Mikey in his bed, she picked Henry up and walked to the bathroom, shutting the door before setting the Shepherd down and lifting up her shirt. "Fuck. I knew it." she hissed. The pale skin of her stomach was shredded. It oozed blood, pieces of metal sticking out and catching the light.

She hissed in pain as she took off her shirt, leaving her in nothing from the waist up. Henry whimpered and pawed at her leg. Lilith got into the cabinet and pulled out some peroxide and tweezers. She sat a rag down on the sink and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She grabbed the tweezers and yanked out a piece of metal. She snarled, trying to keep her voice down in case one of the guys heard, and placed the bloody piece on the rag.

Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. "Lilith, that you? Is somethin' wrong?" Lilith froze. "Uh-No, Raph, I'm fine. Uh-Henry just stepped on my foot." Henry whined, as though protesting the accusation. "I'm callin' bullshit." Raph said. "Tell me whatsamattah or I'll wake up Masta Splinta and Leo." Lilith cringed. "Fine, fine! Just... Give me a second." She put on her shirt, then rolled it up to reveal her stomach.

"Come in, Raph." The turtle opened the door and his eyes immediately fell on her bloody stomach. "Jesus, Lils!" he hissed. "What da hell happened?!" He walked in, shutting the door behind him, and took in the bloody shard of metal sitting on the rag. Lilith looked away. "I got shot. Point blank range. At first, I thought my vest had caught it, but earlier it started to hurt and I realized that the bastard who shot me hadn't shot me with normal shotgun shells."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Raph, there is all _kinds_ of fun shit you can fire out of a shotgun." Lilith said, grinning slightly. Then she frowned. "In this case, it was metal shards." Raph took the tweezer from her. "What are you-?"

"Shaddup and let me help ya." Raph said, pointing the tweezers at her. Lilith sighed and nodded. Henry sniffed at Raph, then sat down next to Lilith's foot. "Huh. Henry doesn't usually like guys. I guess mutants are the exception." Raph shrugged. "Maybe. He didn't have a problem with bein' surrounded by us earliah." He gripped a piece of metal with the tweezers and pulled it out, Lilith releasing a pained hiss as she gripped the edge of the tub tightly.

A few minutes later, there was a large pile of metal on the rag, and a few still in Lilith's abdomen. "Jesus, there's a lotta metal in here. How'd they even fit it all in da shell in da firs' place?" Lilith, gritting her teeth as Raph pulled another shard of metal from her stomach, just shrugged. Henry leaned against her and whined. "What I wanna know is, how did ya _not_ notice this? There's so much metal in here Donnie could make a toastah! An' since ahs is fried, that's good."

"Well if you hadn't stuck your sai in there trying to get the toast out _while it was plugged in..._ "

"How was I ta know it'd blow up?!"

"..." Lilith just stared at him. "Dohn gimme dat look." Raph muttered, carefully removing the last chunk of metal. Lilith hissed. She groaned as she grabbed the peroxide. "This is going to suck so hard."

*FIVE SECONDS LATER*

" _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucketyfuckfuckfuck!_ " she whisper yelled as the peroxide bubbled against her bloodied skin. Raphael took the peroxide from her. "Well if you hadn't poured it all down yer front at once!" he hissed. Lilith snapped, "I didn't see you trying to stop me! Ow, stop that, it hurts!"

He had taken a clean rag and dabbed at the bubbles. "Well if you'd stop moving it wouldn't hurt now, would it?" Lilith grumbled, "It would still hurt! _Ouch!_ Stop it! I've never had to do something like this!" Raph snorted. "Well, deal with it while I clean up the blood that got everywhere."

"It is not _everywhere._ " Raph pointed at the floor where her shirt had lain and at the sink where blood had smeared from the rag to the sink. "Oh, that is not everywhe- _Ow!_ Dammit, stop poking me with that thing!"

"Hey, don't get mad at me, there's a chunka metal still in there!" Raph snapped. Lilith yelped, "Holy shit stop right now! It's fucking huge!" Raph rolled his eyes. "It probably won't get any smaller for a while now! Now c'mon, relax so I can finish!"

*Five minutes earlier, with Leo*

Leo's stomach grumbled as he made his way to the kitchen. _I knew I should have eaten earlier. Sensei wouldn't approve of a midnight snack, but as long as I'm really quiet..._ He paused when he heard a groan come from the bathroom. He slowly turned, then crept up on the door and listened. "This is going to suck _so_ hard." Leo heard Lilith sigh.

Five seconds later, she was hissing "fuck" over and over. Leo blinked as he heard Raph's voice, though he couldn't hear what his brother said. "I didn't see you trying to stop me!" Lilith snapped back. "Ow! Stop that, it hurts!" Raph replied, "Well if you'd stop moving it wouldn't hurt now would it?" Leo gaped. _What the hell am I hearing?! And why are they in the bathroom together?_

His brain showed him images he would rather have not seen. _If they're doing what I think they're doing, then Raph's in no condition to be doing it._ He snapped back to reality when Lilith yelped, "Ow! Dammit, stop poking me with that thing!" Raph snapped, "Hey, don't get mad at me..." Leonardo missed the rest. "Holy shit stop right now! That thing is fucking huge!"

Leo's jaw hit the ground and he gave a strangled intake of breath. He almost screamed when Raphael said, "It probably won't get any smaller for a while now. Now c'mon, relax so I can finish!" Leo had heard enough. He opened the door. "What the hell are you guys doing?!" Lilith swore in surprise as Leo barged in, causing Raph to rip the large piece of metal out at an angle.

Lilith gave a screech of pain. Raph clapped his hands over the place his ears would be if he had any. Lilith wrapped her arms around her stomach and leaned forward, swearing profusely and angrily. Raph held up a pair of tweezers for Leo to see. The tweezers were gripping a large shard of metal, which the red banded turtle dropped onto the pile on the sink.

"Oh. That's what's going on. Wait, where'd the metal come from?" Leo asked. Lilith wheezed, "My gut, you prick! Augh, that hurt like a motherfucker. What did you _think_ was happening?"

"Take a guess. All I heard was 'ow', 'stop', and 'that thing is huge'." Leonardo stated, a slight pink tinge entering his green face. Raph choked and started laughing. "Bwahaha! Leo, you're a fuckin' perve, bro." Lilith hissed, " _Shut the fuck up!_ Can we not wake the whole damn neighborhood?!"

"Too late." Leo, Raph, and Lilith turned as Donnie leaning against the doorframe, Splinter behind him. Lilith groaned. "So much for low key. Damn it Leo, this is all your fault." Donnie stated, "Actually, we were woken up by you screeching like a banshee." Lilith held her abdomen with one hand and pointed at Leo with the other. "Which _Leo_ caused by barging in here, startling Raph, and making him rip _this_ huge thing out of my stomach!" She grabbed the large metal shard from the pile and held it up.

Splinter raised an "eyebrow". "And where did this metal come from, exactly? How did it get into you in the first place?" Lilith flushed. "I kind of got shot and didn't notice."

"How do you not notice getting shot?!" Leo yelped. Lilith glared. "I was wearing a bulletproof vest at the time you dumb fuck. I hadn't realized that there was penetration." Donnie was examining the metal. "You were shot with this? They must have used a shotgun. There's all kinds of fun things you can shoot out of a shotgun." Lilith waved her arms in a way that said, _SEE?! SEE?! HE FUCKING GETS IT!_

Immediately she swore and grabbed her stomach, regretting the sharp movement. Splinter's eyes narrowed. "Take care of this and get to bed. We shall talk about this tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me!" Lilith said. "I'm leaving for Missouri Saturday."

"... _ **WHAT?!**_ " Everyone but Splinter shouted. Henry whined. Lilith stated, "I told you guys, didn't I? I'm going to my uncle's place for a pet funeral. Oh wait. No, I just mentioned it to Leo in passing. Anyways." Raphael facepalmed. "So much for a two week notice." he muttered.

You bitches thought I'd forgotten, didn't you. Or, if you don't know what they're talking about, check chapter 11. Lilith was telling Leo about temporary blindness and shit. Anyway, I still can't think of what I want to do next for the main plot-

Raph: Wait this story has a plot?

Shut the fuck up Raph. ...I'm so fucking done. *leaves*

Raph: hey, wait! The readas ah still here!

you deal with them.

Raph: ...get the fuck outta here you bums. Oh, and Princess Bunny? I have decided ta _graciously_ fergive ya fer puttin' that cockroach in mah bed. However, I only say this cause I totally put a giant turantula in _yer_ bed. mwahahaha!

Leo: ...

Donnie: wth raph.

Mikey: Waphie, why awe you so mean ta dat gowl?

Raph: ...

Leo: *to the readers* uh. we'll see you guys next week. hopefully with our shit together. oh and...psst! Princess Bunny! *makes imaginary phone with hand and whispers 'call me'*

Raph: ...*punches Leo*

I CAN'T FUCKING LEAVE YOU GUYS ALONE.

I WILL SEE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NEXT WEEK.

BYE.


	15. I'M SO FUCKING SORRY!

I'M SO FUCKING SORRY!

I KNOW, I'M A TERRIBLE FUCKING PERSON FOR MISSING UPDATES AND SHIT

My fucking computer finally took a shit and I won't be able to update until next week.

I'm sorry!

Raph: ...

;-;

Raph: jus hurry up and get the damn computah from that dumbass friend a yers.

;-; I'm sowwee.


	16. Chapter 15

U-uhhhh... Heyyyy! H-Heh heh... you love me right? Please don't kill me. I know, I haven't updated in forever and I could give you some lame ass excuse about how I've been busy with school and my matesprit (if you don't know what that is just look it up) but I won't.

Raph: *already knows what a matesprit is* ... ;-;

Raph don't give me that look. You're fictionaly. My matesprit is real.

Raph: ...Ah still can't believe that ya found some idiot who actchally loves ya in that way. So props fer findin' someone who can put up wit' ya.

Okay, one, don't be a dick. Don't make me write a turtlecest fic with you and leo. that's be torture for both of us.

Raph: ... Ah swear you hate me.

I really don't. ANYWAY.

All I have to say now.

Is this.

Sit the fuck down.

Shut the fuck up.

Because it is storytime motherfuckers.

*3 am*

Lilith hauled her last bag into the bed of her truck before shutting the tailgate and the window on the camper shell she'd just recently bought. _What a stupid name. Why don't they just call it 'the thing that goes over the bed of the truck and has windows on it'? Oh wait._ She shook her head and climbed into the driver's seat. Raph, who Splinter had requested Lilith take with her, went to climb into the passenger seat, only to find that Henry had beaten him to it.

"Here, Hen, I'll make a deal with ya." Raph picked the dog up, sat down, then placed the German Shepherd puppy on his lap. Henry yipped happily and licked Raph's plastron. Donnie hurried up to the truck. "This is medicine for Raph. There are written instructions taped to each bottle and box." Lilith nodded and placed the medicine under her seat.

"Be careful you guys." Donnie said worriedly. Lilith flicked his forehead. "Ow!" Donnie whined. Lilith just laughed. "C'mon, Don, when are we _not_ careful?" Donnie just gave her a deadpan look before walking away. Leo held Mikey up to Raph's window. "Bye Waphie! By Wiwy!" he said happily. Raph leaned out of the window and hugged him while Henry licked his face.

"I'll see you soon, okay Little Ninja?" Raph said. Mikey beamed and nodded enthusiastically. Leo put him down and leaned into the window. "I still can't believe you plan on _driving_ all the way to Missouri."

"Well, Raph can't exactly go through an airport, and besides that, I hate planes." Lilith stated. Leo frowned. "Still. Won't you at least consider waiting until this storm passes? It's going to be heading the same way you are for a long time, and it's supposed to be huge." Lilith leaned over. "C'mere, Leo." The blue-banded turtle leaned over, only to get flicked on the spot where his nose would be if he had one.

"Owwww!" he whined, clutching his face. "What is with you and flicking today?!" Lilith rolled her eyes. "Leo, I know the real reason you're all so worried. You've never been any distance away from each other where you couldn't get there in less than fifteen minutes, right?" Leo's averted eyes gave her the answer. "I thought so. Leo, I'll take care of your brother, don't worry."

Leo sighed. "I know, I just can't help but worry. What if something happens?" Lilith snorted. " _I'm_ more worried about _you_ all. Everyone thinks Raph is dead, remember, while you three still go on patrol every night. You guys will be getting attacked way more often than a turtle thought to be dead." Raph put a hand on her face and pushed her away before leaning forward. "And I _can_ take care a myself, y'know."

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Toasters and your sai." Raph immediately blushed. "Uh. I knew what I was doing?"

"So you _were_ trying to kill yourself."

"No! Shaddup, Lilith!" Raph huffed and Henry licked his face. Leo rolled his eyes. "I'll see you guys in a week." he said before stepping back as Splinter approached. "You two take care of yourselves. And each other. I shall see you upon your return." Raph's eye twitched and he finally burst out, "I'm gonna miss you guys." Splinter smiled and patted his shoulder.

"And we shall miss you as well. However..." He whispered something into Raph's "ear" and glanced meaningfully at Lilith, who's eyes narrowed. "What did you tell him?" She demanded. Splinter just stepped away from the truck and said, "Be careful. I shall see you next week." Lilith glared at Raph. "What did he tell you?!" Raph glanced at Splinter, who just winked before returning to the lair.

Raph shrugged. "Eh. Nothin' important."

"Raph!"

"C'mon, can we just head out?"

"...You _will_ tell me later." She growled before starting the truck.

~*skadeep*~

~*several hours later*~

"Hey, you good?"Lilith asked as Raphael rubbed his leg, the one where he'd been stabbed with his own sai. "What? Oh, no, I'm good. It jus' itches like a bitch." Lilith flicked on her windshield wipers as the rain stared to pick up. "Well just don't think about it."

"Easiah said than done, Lils." Raph snorted. Lilith shrugged. She paused, leaning forward to get a better look at the sky, then glanced at the clock on her radio. "That's weird."

"What?"

"It's getting dark as fuck but it's only eight fifteen."

"Well it is the beginning of December. It gets darkah fastah when it stahts ta get cold."

"A.M. Raph. A.M. Besides, it's only December first. We left at three in the morning, remember? It should be getting lighter, not darker. Hm. Must be the storm Leo was trippin' about."

"Whatevah. Leo was probably worryin' ovah nuthin'." Lilith shrugged. "You're probably right. It probably won't be so bad."

Unforunately, Mother Nature had other plans for the two.

Five minutes later, it was pitch black, raining bathtubs (scratch that, swimming pools), and one of Lilith's headlights were out, not that it was helping much beforehand. Lilith couldn't see where the fuck she was going either way. "Uuuuugggggh! _Fuck fuck fuck!_ " she shouted, causing Raphael to jump and Henry to whine." Lilith scowled before pulling off the side of the road.

"I can't drive in this." She growled. "I'm good, but I can't drive blind." She glanced at Raph as lightning flashed, illuminating her features for a brief second. "Stay here a sec." She opened her door. "Hey, wait, ya can't go out in this!" Raphael protested, but the door had already been shut. He scowled. "Gonna get electrahcuted..." He mumbled, only to yelp in surprise when she opened his door a second later.

"Come on." She said, grabbing Henry from him and stuffing the dog in her jacket. Raph hurriedly got out, deciding not to argue (cough for once cough cough). Lilith grabbed his arm as he shut the door and pulled him around the back of the truck before practically shoving him into the back, where she'd already pulled open the tailgate and the window of her camper shell.

She climbed in after him and shut the aforementioned tailgate and camper shell. "Why'd we come back here?" Raphael asked. "Because it's lined with rubber and cloth. Not only is it more comfortable, but it's insulated, so we're less likely to get electrocuted to death." Raphael looked at her funny, though he wasn't sure if it was her he was looking at and she couldn't see him.

There was a zipping sound, then a rustling one as Lilith went through her bag. "Aha! Leo, I fucking love you sometimes." There was a _snick, snick_ , accompanied by a flash of light, and suddenly Raphael was staring at Lilith's breasts as she held up a lighter and one of the candles that Leo used for meditation. Raphael immediately jerked his head upwards. Lilith looked amused.

Henry yipped and shook himself. Lilith laughed and covered the flame with her hand. Raph blinked as he noticed that both she and Henry were soaked to the skin. He could feel water pooling up in his shell as well, chilling his neck and shoulders. Lilith tossed him a towel as she rubbed at her hair with another. Henry panted and wagged his tail as she plopped a dish towel on his head.

Lilith pulled a brick out of her bag and carefully slipped the candle into the hole in the center. For a moment, she paused, listening to the rain pelt the roof. She shook her head. "I think we're gonna be here a while." She muttered. "Ya think?" Raph said sarcastically as he tried to get the water out of his shell. "Pfft, fuck you, Raph." Lilith laughed.

Henry yawned and flopped onto his side. "I wondah what time it is?" Raph thought aloud. "I dunno. It can't be later than nine A.M., but with this rain..." She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Damn. The water fried it. I knew I should have bought that Otter Box." She tossed the device into the corner before glancing around. "Annnnnd my shell cell is in the cab. I don't suppose you have yours?"

Raph cringed. "I hope this thing got that watahproof upgrade Donnie was talkin' about." He pulled out his shell cell and sighed in relief before glancing at the time. "It's only eight twenty-seven." he said. Lilith glanced up at the sky through the window. "Eight thirty in the morning and you can't see worth shit. Perfect." Raph shrugged. "Since there's nuthin' bettah ta do, I'm gonna try 'n get some sleep."

"Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting that you guys are mainly awake at night."

"Despite the fact that you've been 'conformin' ta our ways' for how long now?" Lilith shrugged. "I trained myself to sleep or stay awake whenever I need to." Raph grumbled, "Whateva," before snuggling up in the corner. Lilith snickered as, several seconds later, he was asleep. Lilith paused and glanced at Henry, who was also asleep. Smiling slightly, she dug into her messenger bag before pulling out a composition notebook and a pencil.

She glanced at Raph, then started drawing.

When Raph awoke, the candle had been blown or burnt out and it was still storming. He turned on his shell cell and cast the light around. Lilith was curled up in the opposite corner as he was, using her duffel bag as a pillow with Henry curled up right next to her. Raph grinned, then paused as something caught his attention. An composition notebook lay on the floor, opened to the second page, a pencil next to it.

Raph glanced at Lilith before grabbing it and huddling into his corner again. He smirked when he saw what was on the open page. It didn't have a background, but it was a highly detailed drawing of Leonardo. He was reading a martial arts book, oblivious to the world. With a chuckle, Raph turned the page. He had to cover his mouth to keep from busting out laughing.

Mikey stood in the center of the page. Once again, there was no background, but the words, "Now where did I put those nunchucks?" Were written by his head. Several arrows, drawn in pen, were pointing towards a pizza box in the bottom right corner. One end of the nuchucks poked out of the box. Ra[h blinked. He remembered this.

It had been the day after he woke up. Mikey had lost his nunchucks and couldn't find them, but when Master Splinter found them, he had been furious and had made the now-three-year-old Michelangelo earn them back. Raph grinned. Lilith had drawn the picture in great detail, even going as far as drawing the logo on the box. Raph paused, mentally cackling at the memory, beforre turning the page.

It was of Donnie, asleep on his desk. This one was only partially finished for some reason, only the basic outline finished. Raph still smiled at the image of his brother. He paused before turning to the first page, not having seen that one. He froze when he saw the drawing. It was a great picture, despite the lack of background once more, and the detail was incredible.

The drawing itself, however, was of him. That wasn't the bad part. The bad part was that it didn't _look_ like him. The drawing was a view of him from the side, leaving only half of him visible, but that was enough. His visible eye was swollen and dark, while his lips looked cracked and dry. Three circles were visible on his collarbone, and Raph recognized them immediately.

He touched his collarbone. _She drew me when I was in a coma!_ He realized. On his arm and leg, bandages were wrapped. Several darkened areas showed where bruises were. The back of his head was darkened where the Shredder had bashed his head against the ground. Several loose bandages were there, but they were darkened as well, probably stained by blood.

Lilith groaned slightly, startling Raph. She yawned and rubbed one eye, then blinked when she saw his expression. She quickly lit the candle. "Raph, what's wrong? Are you okay?!" She gave a small, sharp intake of breath when she saw her notebook in his hands. Her cheeks flushed and she turned away. "You saw it, then. That's what's wrong."

 _Is that really what I looked like?!_ Raphael wondered, struggling to breath. _Did my brothers have to see me like that?_ Raph glanced at Lilith, who's blush had faded. Her eyes were sad. _Did_ she _have to see me like that?_ Finally, he managed, "Was it really that bad?" Lilith flinched. "...It... It was _worse,_ Raph. No picture could show just how bad it was."

"Well, your drawing made a damned good attempt." Raph tried to joke, but his voice was strained and Lilith didn't even crack a smile. "You don't get it." Lilith choked, and Raph's head shot up in surprise at the way her voice sounded. She had pulled her knees to her chest. "...W...We almost lost you. You... You almost _died,_ Raph. And it was my fault.

"When we got to you and Leo, you were almost gone. When we got in the truck to take you home and you woke up for a second, we thought you would make it. But then you slipped into a coma. After that, you almost died three times." Raph was absolutely stunned when he saw tears in the girl's eyes. "Once when you almost died of blood loss, once when your heart stopped, and once when someone destroyed your life support."

"But how was it your fault?" Lilith turned her face away. "The day before I came back from Alaska, Splinter 'requested' that I stay with you guys because of increased enemy activity and shit. He told me to come straight to the lair when I got back. I basically told him no. The next day, as soon as I'm back in town, you called me and all that hell broke loose.

"When we got to the lair and Splinter told me to stay with you guys, I reacted badly and basically told him to fuck off. If I had just agreed, we wouldn't have been seen and followed to my house, you and Leo wouldn't have gotten nabbed, and you wouldn't have almost died. I'm so fucking stupid. I don't even deserve to be near you guys. It seems all I do is put you in danger."

Raphael's heart raced and he gaped at her. Was that really how she felt? Did she really feel like she wasn't good enough for them? Like she was the cause for all of their troubles?

 _How long has she felt this way?_

Raph shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, Lils! Splintah was bein' too hahd on ya, an' yer bein' too hahd on yahself. Ya'd just got back an' ya wan'ed ta go home. Besides, me an' they guys made our own decision ta stay at your place, then ta fight the Foot. It wasn' yer fault!"

"Bullshit." Lilith growled, not bothering to turn and face him. "'Ey!" Raph snapped, moving to her side of the truck. "Don't-" He stopped. He had grabbed her shoulder to make her look at him, but he hadn't expected to see her bright green eyes wide and filled with tears. Raph, blinked, shocked, and let go of her shoulder. She turned, teeth clenched, as her shoulders shook silently.

"I... I almost killed you." she whispered. "I... I can't... If you had... If you had died... I would never have forgiven myself. I still don't forgive myself. And I won't." Raph just stared, shocked and sad. _I'm no good at this! Mikey, Leo, even Donnie would do a bettah job! Grr, but they're not he'e! I am! So what would they do...?_ He hesitated, then grabbed Lilith's shoulders before hugging her tightly to his plastron.

Lilith froze, giving a sharp intake of breath. "You've felt like this th' whole time, haventcha?" Raph said quietly. "Ya jus' decided ta hide it and suffah on yer own. Ya didn't want us feelin' sorry for ya or comfertin' ya by doin' what I'm doing now. Ya drew that picture a me as a remindah. Right?" Lilith gave a choked sob and nodded. " I almost took a son from his father, a brother from his siblings. I deserve worse than what I've given myself."

"That's not true. Ya know why? Because ya saved my life several times aftahwords. Ya gave me yer blood ovah and ovah, and went ta get those machines despite the fact that it coulda been dangerous." Lilith snorted. "Fuck danger." she mumbled from where her face was squished against his plastron. "Exactly. Look, Lils, the fact is that even if it was yer fault, which it wasn't, ya did more than enough ta make up for it."

Lilith just stared at his plastron from where she was smushed. "You don't always look like that."

"Heh?"

"You don't always look like shit in your sleep. Did you see this one?" She opened the notebook to a newly drawn page. This one had more details than the rest, as well as a background, though the details _of_ the background were vague. Raph sat curled in the corner of the truck bed, sleeping, while a candle burned in the bottom left. Shadows seemed to flicker and dance with the candle. Outside the windows was pitch black. "Holy shit." was all he could say.

"Yeah, I know, it sucks, but it's not _that_ bad." She blinked up at him, horror entering her gaze. "Is it?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no! That's not what I meant! It's... It's fuckin' great, Lils." She blinked. "Seriously?" Raph nodded. "Yeah. You should get some sleep, Lils. Who knows how long this storm could take to die out? I wanna be ready to go as soon as the rain's done." Lilith nodded and managed to doze off. Raph watched her. In her sleep, she curled closer to his plastron and he couldn't help but smile.

 _I nevah thought I'd say somthin' like this, but... she's adorahble._ She shook his head fiercely. _No, no, no. Don't staht thinkin' shit like that. She's just yer frien'. An' even if ya_ did _like her like that, theres no way in hell she'd have lovey-dovey fuckin' feelin's for a fuckin' mutant turtle who's three yea's younger than her. Ta her, I'm probably pretty fugly-lookin'._

He berated himself fiercely, but the small, warm feeling of happiness and pride that Lilith was willing to sleep near him and talk to him without freaking out that wormed its way into his chest wouldn't fade. Finally, Raph decided to stop this before stupid shit happened. He asked himself the one question that could end the torment, or plunge him into hell.

 _Do I like Lilith as more than a friend?_

And try as he might, he found that he couldn't honestly say no.


	17. Holy shit it's been a while

Okay so I'm a horrible person for making you guys wait this long and I'm not even going to bother with excuses here. To keep a long story short I got grounded and then when I got ungrounded I was just not interested in working on fanfiction. That's not to say that there won't eventually be updates, I will update I promise, but I'm not sure when. My brain is kind of whack right now in multiple ways and I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'll post a new chapter when I can, but my laptop is in Michigan and I'm in Florida, so there's that. I'm sorry about this. Sorry again.


	18. Chapter 16

16

Okay, to start off, thank you to the wonderful people reading this even though I'm a horrible person and haven't updated in god knows how long.

Raph: how is yer half-assed writin' gettin' this many views?!

Pfft. Don't ask me.

Raph: Hey wait, what's that, in yer inbox? You have a message.

What? Oh. *looks* ... *pales* U-Uhhhh. I'm just gonna...um...Okay. To answer your question, no, I will not be writing a Raph x Lilith lemon later in the story. Oh my god...

Raph: O_O  
Same. ANYWAYS. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I /will/ try to update more regularly, but if I'm honest I kind of forgot about this fanfic ;-;  
Raph: You were too busy mopin' ovah that ex a yers.  
Shut up, Raph.  
Raph: Hey, I'm not teasin' ya or anythin', I mean, you /were/ with him for almost a year before he dumped ya an' "broke ya heart."  
Raph. Fuck. Off.  
Leo: Uh, Raph, I don't think you should mess with her anymore...  
Raph: Why not? She fuck wit us all the time! Besides, it's been three months!  
Leo: Raph, he broke up with her a month and a half before they'd been together a year.  
Raph: So? She should jus' suck it up like the resta us.  
You're fucking rude.  
Lilith: Can you fuckers not do anything right? Ugh. Psst. Hey. You know what time it is? That's right. Storytime, motherfuckers.

God dammit Lilith. 

~*U*~

As it turned out, a storm could last a long time. Lilith had slept for about two hours before waking up, and now both she and Raph were going stir-crazy, bored out of their minds. Henry whined and scratched at the door. "Dammit, Henry. _Now?_ " Raph blinked. "What's happenin'?"

"Henry has to go outside to do his business." Lilith sighed. "Have a towel and a dry sweatshirt ready for when I come back, will you?" Before Raph could protest, she had climbed out, grabbed Henry, and shut the back window. Raph sighed and crawled around the candle to get to her bag. He sat the dry things to the side for her, then waited.

And waited.

...And waited.

Raph groaned. "Where _is_ she?" he grumbled. He glanced outside. It was still pitch black. Raph shifted. "I hope she's safe..." he mumbled. After five minutes, he was gettting worried. "Shit..." he growled, opening the back window and climbing out. "Lilith?" he called carefully. "Lils, where are ya?" A loud whine greeted him. "Henry?" he called. "Is that you?"

He braced himself against the driving rain and started forward. "Lils?" He called again. He suddenly felt Henry clawing at his leg and knelt down. "What is it?" he demanded. " _ **Fuck!**_ " He heard someone yell. Henry grabbed Raph's wrist in his teeth and pulled. Raph followed him, and the next flash of lighting revealed Lilith, her foot caught in a hole in the ground and pinned by a tree branch, as well as where they were, which was just outside of a massive forest.

"Lils, are you okay?" Raph yelled over the wind. Lilith looked up. "Yeah! But my leg is stuck. I can't move this damned branch." Raph walked to her side and lifted the log, grunting as he heaved it to the side. Then he helped Lilith free her foot. She moved to stand, only to fall over. Raph grabbed her before she could hit the ground. "My fucking..." She pulled up her pant leg, a flash of lightning revealing a large bite mark.

"We need ta get you back ta the truck. _Now._ " Raph said, lifting her into his arms. "But your injuries-"

"Healed. Let's go." Henry barked and Raph knelt down so that he could climb onto Lilith's stomach. Soon, they were in the back of the truck and Raphael was looking at the bite. "I don't know what it is! It looks like a snake bite, but it's doubled. Did ya get bit twice?" Lilith shook her head. "I don't... Think so. Here, lemme look." She said, slightly dazedly. "Ohhhh, _fuck._ " she groaned.

"What? What's the mattah?!" Lilith looked at him seriously, though her eyes were slightly cloudy. "There's this guy my uncle knows. He likes ta experiment on animals with venom. He released a buncha snakes that he messed with the DNA of. Instead of killing you, the venom basically makes you drunk, so in a few seconds, shit is going ta get fucked right da hells up."

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_ _ **fuck!**_ _It had to be_ that _snake!_ See, this snake venom wasn't just an instant drug. Not only does it make you drunk as fuck, it's basically a truth serum. It makes you answer truthfully, and not only that, but it makes you say whatever thought is inspired by the question. _God dammit. Now I'll have to answer whatever he asks me! Not only that, but I might say something I'll regret!_

With that thought, Lilith's brain clouded over. Raph looked at her worriedly. _Oh, shit. I remember the last time she was-...Actually, nothing really happened the last time she was drunk, did it? She just kinda slept it off. But she seems a little more nerHELLO._ Raph yelped as Lilith practically tackled him in a hug. "Whaddya doin'?!"

"Cuddling. Shaddup and love me dammit." She grumbled. Raph's heart sped up. _Does she mean literally? Does she like me like that?_ Lilith glared at him. "Ah zaid lumme, dammit! That's means hug me back you fuggin' pirk."

"Pirk?"

"Dohn fuggin' queshin it." Henry yipped nervously. _Why is Mom acting like this?! What is happening?!_ The Shepherd puppy wondered, panicking. _I mean, I know she's a little bit on the strange side, but still! She's acting like...like... I don't even know!_ Henry thought. (Yes, Henry is sentient.) Lilith suddenly licked Raph's face before scrambling over him and outside, into the rain.

Raph grumbled and hauled himself out of the truck. "Wait he'e, Henry." He said. The dog sat down as the window shut. He could hear Lilith giggling, and next thing he knew, he had a faceful of soaking wet black hair and an armful of weirdness. "Raphie, ya came ta play!" Raph's eye twitched. "Let's get back in the truck, Lils, yer gunna get a cold."

"But I don wannaaaa!" She whined. She hugged him. "Hey Raph, have ah evah tolja dat yer mah fav'rit turdull?" she asked. Raph looked at her suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"Adda momen'? MigDonald's. Bu' thas nah why ah asked. Ah jus wanned ya ta know that yer mah fafori' turdull evah."

"You know many mutant turtles?"

"Nah, but ah know you an' your brothers an' a lotta reg'ler turdulls. An' yer mah fafori'!" Raph resisted the urge to snicker. "I'm... Honahed." he managed. Lilith laughed. Raph paused. If this poison or whatever made her act drunk, maybe she'd be drunk enough to tell him how she felt about dating a mutant turtle. "Hey Lils."

"Shweddup?"

"What would you do if Leo liked you and asked you out or whateva?"

"Wha'?! Why?! Does he?"

"No! Well... I dunno. Maybe? I dunno. But I'm jus' curious, thas all."

"Oh. Well... Ah dunno. Ah mean, ah don realeh lahk Leo da' way, bu' if he di' lahk meh lahk dat... Ah dunno. Ah guess ah'd jus' tell 'im ah di'n lahk 'im da' way. Ah mean, ah lahk som'n, bu's nah him. Mebbe ah'd tell 'im ahm gay."

"Since when do ya have a crush on anybody? Wait, yer gay?"

"No, ahm nah gay. Bi doe. And... I dunno, actchally.."

"Tell me who he is!" Raph said, slightly angry that she liked someone else and hoping that no one had beat him to the punch, that he still had a chance. _Wow. That was a real stupid move considerin' I_ jus' _recen'ly noticed I like Lils._ Lilith grinned. "Nope!" She said, laughing. "You dohn gedda know!" Raph sighed. "Fine. New question. How do ya feel about humans and mut'nts hookin' up?"

"In a sexy way er a roman'ic one?"

"...Eithah one."

"Well if issin a sexy way den dey bettah know each othah _real_ well 'fore they get down. Bu' den, dat's _e'rybody,_ nah jus' humans an' mu'ints. Bu' if issin a romantic way, pfft. They can todally go ferret. Ah can't judge. If dat's wha' der intah, who giva fuck abou' wha' ha'in' bitches say?"

"Would _you_ date a mutant?"

"Honestly? If ah lahked 'im, 'ell ta da fuck yeah. Ac'chually, der is a certain mutant ah been interested in. Prolly nah wha' yer thinkin', bu' wha'eva."

"Wait, ya mean the one ya was talkin' about earliah?"

"Yea. Him. Now no more questions! Lehs play in da raaaaaain!" The sane Lilith mentally berated herself as she was shoved back into her brain, forced to watch as the poison made her embarrass herself. Suddenly, Raph rolled his eyes, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder before carrying her to the truck. He wiped his eyes as the rain pounded even fucking harder against them.

"Will this fuckin' rain evah leddup?!"

There was no response.

~*U*~

Five minutes and twenty-seven escape attempts later, Lilith was tied up and stuck in the corner. "If ya hadn't tried ta get outta the truck, we wouldn't _have_ this problem." Raph told her. "Don't gimme that look!" He added as she glared at him. Raph looked up as the sky lightened slightly. Thunder rumbled. "Looks like the storms almost ovah. Good. I was gettin' sicka rain."

He climber out as the sun peeked through the clouds, grinning as it's rays lit up the previously dark Earth. "Ugh, that's _sooo_ much better. It's nice and warm andd shit." Lilith sighed. Raph gaped at her. " _How the fuck did you get out?!_ " Lilith grinned and plucked a pocket knife from her back pocket, twirling it, flicking it open, and then twirling it again before closing it and shoving it back in her pocket in one smooth movement.

"I always carry a pocket knife." She said simply. "Anyway, I'm sober now, and even though it's still raining, I can see where I'm going, so I think it's time we get the fuck out of dodge." She put away the candle they'd been using for light before grabbing several towels. She positions them on the seats before grabbing Henry and climbing into the driver's seat.

Raph climbed into the passenger's seat and Lilith handed Henry to him before starting up the truck and driving.

~*U*~

At the next gas station, Lilith had Raphael climb into the back. "I'll go get some gas and a few other things. Any requests?"

"Pizza?"

"Obviously. I mean anything other than that."

"...Chocolate sounds so fuckin' awesome."

"Gotcha." Lilith tossed a blanket over him and walked into the gas station, leaving Henry to guard the truck with Raph. She came back with several bags and two boxes of pre-made pizza, along with two giant coffee cups. After putting the stuff in the truck and filling up her gas tank, Lilith allowed Raphael back up fronts as she started driving.

"Your shit is in this bag." She said, indicating it. "And help yourself to the pizza. Some prick didn't pick them up, so they let me have them since they was pre-paid. Hah. Fuckers." Raph grinned and opened the top box. "Also, I grabbed you some hot chocolate. Just grab whichever cup you want. Now get into the other bag and grab me some fucking Funyuns."

~*U*~

"Okay, okay. I've got one. What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison?" Lilith asked. Raph paused. "A midget... A midget psychic escaped from prison... I dunno, whaddya call one?"

"A small medium at large."

Raph busted into laughter. "A small medium...! Hahaha! I get it!" Lilith snickered. "Yeah, it's great. Heard that one in a video game." Raph laughed. "Haha. Okay, I got one from a video game, too. What did tha green grape say ta tha purple grape?"

Lilith's eyes widened and she grinned. "Breathe, you idiot!" she answered, laughing. "You played _The Last of Us?!_ " Raph gaped. "Hell yeah, man! That game was legit!"

"I know right?! And the _feelz!_ The fuckin' _feelz!_ "

"I know! Especially at the end when-"

"Oh my god don't even get me _started_ on the end!"

"Actually, you kinda remind me a Ellie."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean, yer both girls who swear enough ta make sailahs blush, ya both have a certain charming yet badass guy-friend who helps ya out-"

"And who is this guy friend, Raphael? I don't think I know anyone charming, let alone badass."

"Well me, obviously. I mean, I'm sexy, righ'?"

"...No comment."

"Hey!" The two shared a laugh. Lilith sighed. "Okay. we're only a minute or two away from my uncle's. I'm going to warn you now. One: I told him you are a cosplayer. Two: He goes bat-shit fucking crazy sometimes, so try not to piss him off and don't tell him I said that. Three: They are going to be _so_ pissed when we go up. Four: When we start Alex's funeral, I may or may not become an-er-an emotional fucking wreck. So bear with me."

"Got it. Cosplayah, don't piss off yer uncle, they're gonna be pissed, don't judge the whiny bitch."

"Hey!" Lilith protested good-humoredly, punching his arm. "Seriously though. Tha dog saved my life several times when I was blinded, and he should have lived for a long time yet. I hate the fact that he died while I was away, and I'm probably going to blame myself and scream and yell a lot. So if I lash out at you, just... Don't get mad, kay?"

"I get it, Lils. I get it." Lilith sighed. "Okay. Just remember that. We're here." Lilith's uncle's place was a tall, two-story house. It was cobalt blue with white shutters and a storm cellar. There was a large red barn in the back, as well as a huge field that Raphael hadn't noticed before. A rusted pickup truck with a horse trailer attached sat in the driveway, and a tractor sat in the open doors of the barn.

As Lilith pulled into the driveway, Raphael caught sight of a man and a woman standing on the porch. They looked young, maybe in their late twenties. The man was taller than the woman by several inches. He wore jeans with a blue plaid button up tucked into them, as well as cowboy boots. He even had a straw cowboy hat. Black hair peeked out from under said hat.

The woman was dressed simply in a pink t-shirt and jeans. Wavy brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a white baseball cap with a horse in the front and a pink bill. She wore tennis shoes. Her skin and clothes were covered in dirt.

Lilith took a breath. "That man is my uncle. His name's Daniel, but everyone calls him Dan. The woman next to him is his wife, Maxine. Everyone calls her Max. C'mon. I'll introduce you." She turned off her truck and grabbed Henry before climbing out, Raph on her heels. His instinct was to stay close to her, but he also wanted to hide, to blend into the shadows.

Not only was he walking towards normal people, but he was also doing it willingly and with a flimsy excuse. He also wasn't walking towards them to kick their ass, so he was out of his element here. Lilith grinned at the couple on the porch. "Hi Dan! Hi Max!" She said sheepishly.

Dan scowled and Max demanded, "How the hell can you walk up so cheerful-like when we haven't seen you in almost three fuckin' years?!" Lilith winced. "I can explain, I-"

"And ya got a new puppy." Dan interrupted. "Replacin' Alex already?! He ain't gon' be too pleased about that!"

"No, it's not like that, I got Henry on a ca- ...Wait a minute. What do you mean, Alex won't be pleased? You told me that Alex was fucking dead!" Max began, "Don't you take that tone with him young-"

"Don't even fucking start, Maxine!" The country girl looked pissed at being addressed in that manner. "Young lady, you better watch that damn tongue o' yers 'fore I-"

" _What the fuck did I just say, bitch?!_ " Lilith snarled. Max flinched back, showing that she was more afraid of Lilith than she let on. "I'll talk to my uncle however the fuck I want, especially since he's been fucking lying to me about my dog being fucking dead!" Dan dropped the angry act. "You never come _home,_ Lily. I... I just couldn't think of any other way to get you to come visit. You're always too busy!" Lilith shook her head in amazement.

"So you saw that as cause to _lie to me_ and tell me something that would break my fucking heart just to get me down here? _**Fine. I'm here. The FUCK do you want?**_ " Raph was stunned. He'd never seen Lilith this angry before. _Thinking her dog was dead hurt her more than she showed. God dammit, why does she keep hidin' her emotions like this? It's gonna start overflowin' eventchally, an' then she'll wind up like me._

Dan looked taken aback. "I... I want us to be together. At least for a few days. You never visit. Even before Michael died, you were always too busy to come and see us." Lilith glared. "Fuck you and what you want. Where the fuck is Alex? I'm taking him with me." Dan blinked. "That's it? You drove all this way and you're just going to drive back?"

"Yes." Lilith spat simply.

Dan's eyes saddened. "Lily... Please... Just stay the night. Have dinner with us and breakfast in the morning, and if you don't want to stay a few days as planned, you can leave then. But please, Lily. Just stay one night." Raph put a hand on her shoulder. "Lils... I'm not tryna make the decision for ya, or force ya ta do somethin', but it wouldn't be a bad idea ta at least rest fer tanight. We can get an early staht tamarrah, an' then we'll be home b'fore ya know it."

"...You're right, Raph. We'll stay tonight, but we're leaving tomorrow." Lilith agreed. Dan looked relieved. "Thank you, Lily. I know a certain someone who'll be glad to see you! And it's not Alex!"

"Though _he's_ happy too!" Max called as she opened the door and a barking Siberian Husky with russet and white fur came barreling out, whining. It tripped as it jumped down the stairs, but recovered and ran to Lilith before tackling her and knocking her on her ass. "Alex!" Lilith yelled delightedly as the husky whined, licking her face and wagging his tail so hard that his entire body wiggled.

"Awww, did you miss your mom? Didja? Huh? Didja? Or didja just miss the belly rubs." Alex froze, then dropped to his side and rolled over, paws flailing in the air as he writhed. "Oho, so you _do_ want the belleh rubs! Well I'm gonna getcha!" Lilith laughed as she attacked the dog's stomach, scratching his chest and belly while he barked and writhed happily, tail wagging furiously.

"Oooh, yeah, you like havin' yer belly rubbed, dontcha? Dontcha?" Raph burst out laughing as Lilith went into 'the puppy dog state,' AKA 'that thing stereotypical girls do when confronted with a cute animal'. Mikey's words.

"Lilith! Oh my god, you're here!" The shout came from the doorway of the house, where a young man stood. Raph gaped. This guy was huge! Standing at probably over six feet, he dwarfed Max and Dan, who were by no means short. The guy had shaggy brown hair and looked like he was _definitely_ playing sports regularly. Lilith looked up and Raph wanted to punch himself when he saw the look of complete adoration in her eyes.

" _ **Hunter!**_ " She screamed excitedly, patting Alex's belly one more time before hauling herself up and sprinting to the guy, throwing herself at him. He caught her and spun her around. "Ah, Lils! I 'aven't see you in foreva! Bloo'y 'ell, girl, at _least_ drop me a line once in a while, huh?" _British accent. He has a British_ fucking _accent. I'm fucked!_ Raph mentally groaned. The feeling of being totally fucked intensified when Lilith kissed pretty-boy's cheek.

Raph glanced over when Henry whined and pressed against him. Alex leaned towards the Shepherd puppy, sniffing. Raph knelt down and patted Henry's tiny puppy frame. "It's alrigh', bud. He's jus' curious aboutcha is all." Hunter glanced over. "An' who's ya friend ovah in the, ah... turtle suit?" Lilith looked over. "Hey Raph, c'mere! You can get aquainted with Alex later, he loves sleeping with guys!" (*says super fast* iapologizefORNOTHING!)

Raph snorted, but stood up and walked towards them. "Guys, this is Raphael." The ninja waved. "Call me Raph." He said. "Raph, this is Max, Dan, and Hunter. And I'm sure you met Alex." Lilith laughed as said dog bumped Raph's leg and sat down. Hunter walked closer to Raph. "Oh, wow! Your animatronic suit is spot on! 'Ow the bloo'y 'ell did you manage to build something this flawless?! I mean, I can 'ardly tell i'ssa suit! Even the _mouth_ moves realistically!"

"It, ah... It took a few yea's ta develope properly." Raph said, mentally snickering. Raph blinked as suddenly Hunter was right in his face, staring into his green eyes. "It's so real-looking!" said British-boy. He leaned back. "Oh! I was uncomfortably close! My apologies, friend!" Raph blinked, then shrugged. "It's cool, Hun'ah." Hunter grinned, and that's when Raph noticed his eyes.

His eyes were mismatched, one green like Lilith's, one a golden color.

 _His_ _ **eyes**_ _were_ _ **mismatched!**_

 _He's a mutant!_ Raph realized. He remembered saying something along the lines of it being a mutation called chroma-something.

" _Ac'chually, der is a certain mutant ah been interested in. Prolly nah wha' yer thinkin', bu' wha'eva._ " Lilith had said when she was intoxicated.

 _Fuck._

Originally this line said something along the lines of fuck you cliffhanger now you have to wait a week, but I decided since I'm awful and haven't updated in a while that that would be a bad idea. I also meant to have this part in the chapter originally instead, but I fOrGoT To FiX It BeCaUsE I'm FuCkInG DuMb

Raph: Yeah, yeah, we knew that you're stupid already. *blinks at script* wait a minute. since when ah two differen' colored eyes mutated?

it's a genetic mutation. a natural one, actually. it wasnt caused by glowing ooze.

Raph: ...lucky bastahd.

see you guys next update!


End file.
